That's correct, you read it right Mr. Fantasy Football. The 2011 fantasy football season kicked off last week and yours truly started it off with a .680 winning percentage!
I felt pretty good going into the season, well, at least in 21 of my leagues that is. I wish everything was as easy as fantasy football, gosh I swear when it comes to my fantasy team I wake up and piss excellence!
At QB I started the day off rooting for Big Ben, Flacco, Freeman, Eli, Rivers, Brady, Rodgers, Romo, Sanchez, Kolb, Vick, Henne, Fitzpatrick, Stafford, and Cutler. Really my quarterbacks were a win win situation in week one, regardless how they performed it would help me in at least one of my leagues. And as it turned out it did, because my starters that sucked didn't suck enough to make me lose and that helped me win in another league because my opponent had that player. Yeah, its complicated for you rubes out there that don't understand fantasy football, I know, but I don't expect you to understand it.
At running back I totally ruled! I made sure I was in the exact amount of leagues this season that I had a 92 percent chance of winning 50 percent of my games. Running back position was no different than the quarterback in results for week one. I started Rice, Tolbert, McCoy, Forte, Bush, Sproles, Johnson, the Caddy, Jackson, Jackson, Gore, Charles, and McFadden to name a few. I see you noticed I listed Jackson twice huh, yeah, theres Steven Jackson and Fred Jackson, I figured that way when the ticker was scrolling across the screen I wouldn't have to concern myself with which Jackson did well because I had them both (more beer time and jackass acting chances that way). Well, as it turned out I was right again. Really my running backs were a win win situation in week one, regardless how they performed it would help me in at least one of my leagues. And as it turned out it did, because my starters that sucked didn't suck enough to make me lose and that helped me win in another league because my opponent had that player.
At wide receiver this year I decided to use my "play the board" type strategy. You see, with the "play the board" strategy, you try and select at least one receiver from each NFL team and have them on at least one of your fantasy teams. It worked out well for me in week one as evident of my .680 winning percentage I previously mentioned. Theres no need to list the players because I have a wide receiver from each team in the NFL, hence the "play the board" strategy Mr. guru. Well, as it turned out I was a genius of course. Really my wide receivers were a win win situation in week one, regardless how they performed it would help me in at least one of my leagues. And as it turned out it did, because my starters that sucked didn't suck enough to make me lose and that helped me win in another league because my opponent had that player.
Do we really need to talk kickers? I mean that is the sole position in fantasy football that I don't understand why it is even used. Come on, theres only like 32 of them, which means that every good fantasy football owner has all but probably six of them this season. Any owner who starts the same kicker in two different leagues is a moron and everyone knows it. It's basic mathematics buddy, if you have 25 teams, that means you can only get bitten by six kickers on a given week. Now those are my type of odds for sure. Well, as it turned out I was right again. Really my kickers were a win win situation in week one, regardless how they performed it would help me in at least one of my leagues. And as it turned out it did, because my starters that sucked didn't suck enough to make me lose and that helped me win in another league because my opponent had that player.
On to my defense.....well....unfortunately this is the only reason I didn't have a better winning percentage in week one. I started 26 of the 32 NFL teams in one league or another. And bad for me the six I didn't start burnt me. Its the chance you take, but it ain't all bad, because, well, as it turned out it was all good, regardless how they performed it helped me in at least one of my leagues because my starters that sucked didn't suck enough to make me lose and that helped me win in another league because my opponent had that player.
Now, if I keep this pace up I will set a personal best for a season. My previous best fantasy football season was 1,605 wins and 1,580 losses back in 2006 in which I won three championships and placed second in three others. I would like to take this opportunity to brag on myself a little, just so you gurus reading this understand the creditinals I possess. Since I began playing fantasy football in 1999 I have won 9 championships, that's 9 championships in 12 years, top that Mr. Fantasy football guru! My career winnings in that time span is over $8,000 dollars, yes you read it right, over $8,000! To me, it's comparable to the slot machines, who cares how many damn coins you dropped in the thing over the past year, all that matters is when that red light on top starts spinning and the siren goes off, what a rush!
I felt pretty good going into the season, well, at least in 21 of my leagues that is. I wish everything was as easy as fantasy football, gosh I swear when it comes to my fantasy team I wake up and piss excellence!
At QB I started the day off rooting for Big Ben, Flacco, Freeman, Eli, Rivers, Brady, Rodgers, Romo, Sanchez, Kolb, Vick, Henne, Fitzpatrick, Stafford, and Cutler. Really my quarterbacks were a win win situation in week one, regardless how they performed it would help me in at least one of my leagues. And as it turned out it did, because my starters that sucked didn't suck enough to make me lose and that helped me win in another league because my opponent had that player. Yeah, its complicated for you rubes out there that don't understand fantasy football, I know, but I don't expect you to understand it.
At running back I totally ruled! I made sure I was in the exact amount of leagues this season that I had a 92 percent chance of winning 50 percent of my games. Running back position was no different than the quarterback in results for week one. I started Rice, Tolbert, McCoy, Forte, Bush, Sproles, Johnson, the Caddy, Jackson, Jackson, Gore, Charles, and McFadden to name a few. I see you noticed I listed Jackson twice huh, yeah, theres Steven Jackson and Fred Jackson, I figured that way when the ticker was scrolling across the screen I wouldn't have to concern myself with which Jackson did well because I had them both (more beer time and jackass acting chances that way). Well, as it turned out I was right again. Really my running backs were a win win situation in week one, regardless how they performed it would help me in at least one of my leagues. And as it turned out it did, because my starters that sucked didn't suck enough to make me lose and that helped me win in another league because my opponent had that player.
At wide receiver this year I decided to use my "play the board" type strategy. You see, with the "play the board" strategy, you try and select at least one receiver from each NFL team and have them on at least one of your fantasy teams. It worked out well for me in week one as evident of my .680 winning percentage I previously mentioned. Theres no need to list the players because I have a wide receiver from each team in the NFL, hence the "play the board" strategy Mr. guru. Well, as it turned out I was a genius of course. Really my wide receivers were a win win situation in week one, regardless how they performed it would help me in at least one of my leagues. And as it turned out it did, because my starters that sucked didn't suck enough to make me lose and that helped me win in another league because my opponent had that player.
Do we really need to talk kickers? I mean that is the sole position in fantasy football that I don't understand why it is even used. Come on, theres only like 32 of them, which means that every good fantasy football owner has all but probably six of them this season. Any owner who starts the same kicker in two different leagues is a moron and everyone knows it. It's basic mathematics buddy, if you have 25 teams, that means you can only get bitten by six kickers on a given week. Now those are my type of odds for sure. Well, as it turned out I was right again. Really my kickers were a win win situation in week one, regardless how they performed it would help me in at least one of my leagues. And as it turned out it did, because my starters that sucked didn't suck enough to make me lose and that helped me win in another league because my opponent had that player.
On to my defense.....well....unfortunately this is the only reason I didn't have a better winning percentage in week one. I started 26 of the 32 NFL teams in one league or another. And bad for me the six I didn't start burnt me. Its the chance you take, but it ain't all bad, because, well, as it turned out it was all good, regardless how they performed it helped me in at least one of my leagues because my starters that sucked didn't suck enough to make me lose and that helped me win in another league because my opponent had that player.
Now, if I keep this pace up I will set a personal best for a season. My previous best fantasy football season was 1,605 wins and 1,580 losses back in 2006 in which I won three championships and placed second in three others. I would like to take this opportunity to brag on myself a little, just so you gurus reading this understand the creditinals I possess. Since I began playing fantasy football in 1999 I have won 9 championships, that's 9 championships in 12 years, top that Mr. Fantasy football guru! My career winnings in that time span is over $8,000 dollars, yes you read it right, over $8,000! To me, it's comparable to the slot machines, who cares how many damn coins you dropped in the thing over the past year, all that matters is when that red light on top starts spinning and the siren goes off, what a rush!
I laughed so hard I pissed myself.. Not sure if it was excellence or not but it was piss for sure!
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