Week 1 Recaps-2014

Week 1 Recaps 2014

Week one 2014 in the eSFL was a barnburner! There was three games decided by less than 5 points, one other a ten pointer, and two teams scored more than 200. The Standout Coalition won the first ever weekly high points award with 234.06 and look like the team to beat this year.

187.14	TOTAL	186.96
146.14	OFF	148.46
41	DEF	38.5

Kav`s Kavanators SCORES
Romo,Tony	p2,
Maclin,Jeremy	c68,
Johnson,Calvin	c67,c16,
Ertz,Zach	c25,
Spiller,C.J.	c7,
Hauschka,Steven	35,20,
D Crownholder SCORES
Cutler,Jay	p12,p11,
Jennings,Rashad	r1,
Patterson,Cordarrelle	r67,
Marshall,Brandon	c11,
Davis,Vernon	c29,c2,
Walsh,Blair	52,46,

Coach Kav wheeled and dealed his way to victory as Calvin Johnson proved his 1st round selection in the draft was worthy. The Crownholder somehow made this a contest but didn't have enough to hold on.

180.66	TOTAL	176.68
151.66	OFF	150.68
29	DEF	26

Zima Ruskies SCORES
Rodgers,Aaron	p3,
Johnson,Chris	c5,
Sproles,Darren	r49,
Gostkowski,Stephen	47,45,
Fields Fanatix SCORES
Foles,Nick	p25,p68,
Lynch,Marshawn	r9,r3,
Cobb,Randall	c3,
Gronkowski,Rob	c6,

Coach Zima watched Reggie Bush seal the deal on Monday night but leave the contest with question marks at the running back position but coach Zima stated after the win, "best damn team in the history of the eSFL".

156.82	TOTAL	166.84
87.82	OFF	142.84
69	DEF	24

Temp`s Texas Boys SCORES
Brees,Drew	p3,
Crosby,Mason	23,
Smith,Harrison	i81,
Perdew Pulverizers SCORES
Stafford,Matthew	p67,p16,r5,
Green,A.J.	c77,
Tucker,Justin	38,

A low scoring contest as far as week one standards are gauged, but the Perdew team gets the victory despite the JJ Watt blocked kick and fire of coach Templin. Coach Templin was mentally drained after the contest and criticized other owners on their quick triggers in free agency acquisitions, "Jesus Christ all you fuckers just monitor the waiver wire...probably my last year".
Coach Perdew announced his team was on the verge of moving some of their dead meat via the trade, details to come. 

216.3	TOTAL	188.72
198.8	OFF	157.72
17.5	DEF	31

Rhodes Runners SCORES
Luck,Andrew	r9,p41,p9,
Ball,Montee	r3,
Bell,LeVeon	r38,
White,Roddy	c2,
Thomas,Julius	c3,c35,c5,
Brown,John	c13,
Bryant,Matt	40,51,52,
Texan Bruisers SCORES
Ryan,Matt	p2,p1,p54,
Vereen,Shane	r2,
Olsen,Greg	c5,
Bailey,Dan	29,

Coach Rhodes won his 100th eSFL game despite only 17.5 points from his defense. These teams combined for 404 points but the contest was sealed when Victor Cruz for the Texans decided to eat salsa rather than drink powerade before the game, a decision he would regret. 216 was the second highest points of the week. "This was a huge division game, a huge win", coach Rhodes stated as he was brushing his teeth at 0130 am.
Coach Rhodes quickly made massive defensive moves and overhauled his defense. "We are a weekly defensive unit, if we start someone you like next week he likely will be a free agent. It's our philosophy and we will cut anyone at any moment".

176.16	TOTAL	146.34
141.16	OFF	127.34
35	DEF	19

Frost`s Furrious Flurries SCORES
Manning,Peyton	p3,p35,p5,
Murray,DeMarco	r2,
Brown,Antonio	c35,
Rudolph,Kyle	c7,
Novak,Nick	36,
Viall Vigilante SCORES
Romo,Tony	p2,
Ball,Montee	r3,
Olsen,Greg	c5,
Hauschka,Steven	35,20,

The Flurries selected Peyton Manning first overall, now you know why. Manning lit up the scoreboard early in his Sunday night game and proved that the NFL was a fixed league in the second half. Coach Viall loses again, something that most fans have come to expect.

181.56	TOTAL	182.62
155.06	OFF	120.62
26.5	DEF	62

Psycho Billiecats SCORES
Cutler,Jay	p12,p11,
Moreno,Knowshon	r4,
Sproles,Darren	r49,
Tucker,Justin	38,
Houston Rams SCORES
Brees,Drew	p3,
Maclin,Jeremy	c68,
Brown,Antonio	c35,
Vinatieri,Adam	25,

Coach Klimko has written a 64 page manifesto on why the eSFL is out to prevent any team from winning back-to-back championships. In the document his main selling point is the fact that his team lost by less than a point because the league allowed 10 points for blocked kicks for this week only. What he failed to mention in the document is that his coaching staff failed to scout for a player that might block one. The 'cats lost this on on the defensive side of the ball.

Segment from the manifesto.....
........lots of people on thin ice around here,with several already being handed their walking papers. the mood is somber around the facility. While many agree the new xtra point scoring is hogwash, and the commissioners decision to uphold that bogus tweak to the esfl, Coach K has shouldered this loss on his own. He stated that Peterson not returning punts and his game time decision to bench Wake in favor of Lauranaitis is what did them in. He is happy with the general direction of the team, made a few roster moves and even put a few on notice. Scoring single digits will not be tolerated on this championship squad on a quest to repeat.

178.64	TOTAL	100.46
134.64	OFF	86.46
44	DEF	14

Money Team SCORES
Stafford,Matthew	p67,p16,r5,
Wright,Kendall	c6,
Davis,Vernon	c29,c2,
Crosby,Mason	23,
Wallie`s Texas Stars SCORES
Rodgers,Aaron	p3,
Marshall,Brandon	c11,
Bailey,Dan	29,

What a pathetic display of fantasy football by the Wallies Texas Stars. In a day and age of high powered output the league never imagined a team was capable of barely breaking the century mark.

180.22	TOTAL	234.06
174.22	OFF	180.06
6	DEF	54

Igama Sweaty Palms SCORES
Ryan,Matt	p2,p1,p54,
Murray,DeMarco	r2,
Johnson,Calvin	c67,c16,
Gronkowski,Rob	c6,
Standout Coalition SCORES
Brady,Tom	p6,
Johnson,Chris	c5,
White,Roddy	c2,
Green,A.J.	c77,
Thomas,Julius	c3,c35,c5,
Cobb,Randall	c3,
Freese,Nate	28,27,
Smith,Harrison	i81,

If anyone had doubts about the Coalitions ability to beat the shit out of you, erase them. With coach Ron Pardue at the helm the "unit" won the first ever 50.00 weekly high point award. In the process the team made everyone wonder how high is the limit for this squad. "All owners are put on notice", coach Pardue was quoted as saying as he rolled off the couch Sunday evening. Tough luck for the Palms, get used to it fellas.

 

151.1	TOTAL	190.56
120.1	OFF	159.56
31	DEF	31

Nachman MF SCORES
Luck,Andrew	r9,p41,p9,
Gostkowski,Stephen	47,45,
Dlugiewicz Fight`n Pollacks SCORES
Manning,Peyton	p3,p35,p5,
Spiller,C.J.	c7,
Lynch,Marshawn	r9,r3,
Rudolph,Kyle	c7,
Patterson,Cordarrelle	r67,
Novak,Nick	36,

The Fightin Pollacks had their eyes set on a 200 week as there was never any fear of a loss against the outcoached, out general managered, out everything Manning Face team. It was coach Nachman's first game on the sideline in the eSFL and proved what everyone on eSFL Radio has been stating, THIS TEAM SUCKS. Hang in there coach, it feels great when you get a win.