eSFL Insider-Week 1-Nebula

ESFL INSIDER WEEK 1
By J. Igama


This is the 15th season in the ESFL and no one’s as excited as the players and coaches.  We’ve waited seven long months to prepare to dethrone the 2013 ESFL champions, Psycho Billiecats, and it looks like we have a couple of early season favorites waiting to take a shot at the King of the Hill. Without further ado, let’s take a look at this week’s matchups.

  

Sweaty Palms 150 – Standout Coalition 180

Sweaty Palm’s hard hitting wide receiver core is no match for the Coalition’s three headed monster, Shady McCoy, A.J. Green, and Julius Thomas.  An early season Ballistic Bowl favorite, the Standout Coalition looks to clean up this division with ease and gets the early W.  A recent interview with Coach Igama reveals his strategy coming into the season.  “You know, a lot of critics out there think that my team is a bunch of inexperienced rookies, we’ve been here before.  We’ll see whose still in the hunt by week 6.”

  

Money Team 130 – Wallie’s Texas Stars 145

This game will come down to the wire, but, with the Money Team facing a very tough defensive squad, the Stars will end up with the win in the end. When asked about the Money Team’s first round pick in Adrian Peterson instead of Lesean McCoy, the coach responded with “Wait what?  This is a PPR league? SHIT!”

  

  

Nachman MF 100 – Dlugiewicz Fight N’ Pollacks 105

Arguably the two worst teams in the conference, expect this game to be comparable to watching Coach Kav giving out draft grades on youtube.

  

Psycho Billiecat 120 – Houston Rams 150

This week’s featured game is the defending ESFL champs vs the Houston Rams.  With Coach Klimko’s pot smoking, domestic abusing squad, it’s hard to imagine that they will make a second appearance in the Ballistic Bowl.  Led by Drew Breazy and Arian Foster, the Houston Rams will have the cops called on them for beating Billiecats like Ray Rice beats his fiancé.  When asked about Coach Klimko’s Josh Gordon pick in the 9th Round, he responded with “Last time I remember, this is America.  We love giving second, third, fourth chances to anyone willing to work hard.”  His draft picks surely reflects that statement well.