2008-Week 4 by Jesse Kizima

eSFL Insider-2008-Week 4




Posted: Sep 26, 2008 20:12:03 by Jesse Kizima

After three eSFL weeks I believe I can speak for everyone and say, `I`m glad it`s football season`. Before I discuss this weeks games I`d like to announce to the world that my team, the Zima Fatbacks, will be renamed beginning next season. We will become the Kizima Kamikaze. The Fatbacks have a long and proud eSFL tradition, to include a Ballistic Bowl championship. The namechange is more of a result of my muscular physique turning into a lard ass than anything else. I know with the hard work the commissioner does to keep the eSFL history, the Fatbacks will never be forgotten and their rightfull place in league history will always be something the league keeps everyone aware of. Now, on to this weeks. First of all, the stupidest trade in the history of fantasy football, yes, not just the eSFL, but the world, was pulled off by the Whitmore club. Either this franchise is planning a wholsale sell out or they have lost their minds. Larry Fitz for E. Grahm? You gotta be kidding me. Whitmore could have had almost any two players from any teams rosters for fitz, and he gets E. Grahm. With NFL bye weeks upon us, look for the llack of team depth to really be apparent from here on out. The Workehorse club will fall and fall big to the Pulverizers, who have quietly have assembled a championship caliber club. Jones-Drew and Chambers will both put up 40 bombs while the workhorse`s flacid attack of Jason Campbell and the afore mentioned E. Grahm will both score less than 10. Whit`s team doesnt have enough on his roster to win this one. The Big `D` versus Fanatix game is much more intriguing and should be a much more competitive game. Larry Fitz and Jay Cutler will prove to much for the pathetic Fanatix`s QB position. The Fanatix WR and RB`s are solid, but won`t be enough. The People-eaters go to 1-3 with their jokes at qb Gus Frerotte, RB E. James, and Wr P. Clayton. They wont break 65 total points this week. On the other side, Carson Palmer and Hines Ward both put up 50 each and rumble to an easy win.

Frost has no chance against Pardue because he`s the MFIC! Pardue wins by 100. Boot Hill will smash the crownholder and knock that silly hat off his teams logo. Kyle Orton? His first eSFL start ever, and it won`t be pretty. The Balut are the luckiest bastards alive and win again this week.

And the game of the century is the Fatbacks versus them Texas Boys. First of all, that is the gayest helmet on the planet except for the Texas Longhorn collegiate edition. I will beat the Texas Boys because the odds of any team in the eSFL starting 0-4 are 1 in 124,076. I figured it out, and I like my odds.