Monday, October 6, 2014

Postgame-Week 5-2014



142.04TOTAL123.84
107.54OFF91.34
34.5DEF32.5
Igama Sweaty Palms SCORES
 Ryan,Mattp74,
 Suisham,Shaun24,
Money Team SCORES
 Stafford,Matthewp9,
 Bryant,Dezc2,

Two coaches who sat on their couches until 0300 Tuesday morning wondering when fantasy football week five would start. Pathetic.





168.16TOTAL162.66
152.66OFF132.16
15.5DEF30.5
Dlugiewicz Fight`n Pollacks SCORES
 Manning,Peytonp7,p31,p86,p12,
 Lynch,Marshawnc9,
 Novak,Nick34,
Psycho Billiecats SCORES
 Cutler,Jayp10,r10,p25,
 Jeffery,Alshonc25,
 Jackson,DeSeanc60,
 Parkey,Cody26,27,

"Peyton will lead us", coach Mike screamed as he looked at the game box scores Monday morning. The Dlugiewicz Fighting Pollacks (4-1) returned to their winning ways beating the punchless defending champion Psycho Billiecats (2-3). "we are in the midst of the Ballistic Bowl blues", coach Klimmer yelled as he pounded his fist on the credenza. The Pollacks take over sole possession of first in the Quasar while the 'cats remain bottom feeders in the Helix. 






162.54TOTAL152.86
135.04OFF122.86
27.5DEF30
Temp`s Texas Boys SCORES
 Brees,Drewp15,p5,
 Lacy,Eddier11,r10,
 Thomas,Demaryiusc31,c86,
 Suisham,Shaun24,
Kav`s Kavanators SCORES
 Romo,Tonyp43,p2,
 Maclin,Jeremyc24,
 Kelce,Travisc2,
 Forsett,Justinr11,
 Carpenter,Dan45,25,58,

The Temp Texas Boy's (2-3) held their post game presser Sunday night declaring victory even after making a foolish declaration of victory several weeks ago, then waking up to a loss. This week was not so foolish however, facing a pathetic opponent with little to no fight left in them. The Kav's Kavanators  (1-4) extended their three game losing skid to four, "What a great game. damn what you think about the Bills now?", coach Kav exclaimed Sunday evening on eSFL Radio. The win keeps the Texas Boy's playoff hopes alive as the division leading Ruskies tasted defeat and fell to 4-1.






155TOTAL153.84
114OFF108.34
41DEF45.5
Standout Coalition SCORES
 Manning,Elip3,p15,
 Cobb,Randallc8,
 Thomas,Juliusc7,c12,
 Green,A.J.c17,
 Bullock,Randy29,
Texan Bruisers SCORES
 Ryan,Mattp74,
 Sanu,Mohamedc37,
 Bailey,Dan33,49,



Coach Ron Pardue secured his head coaching position for at least another week as he led the Standout Coalition (2-3) over the "never give up" Texan Bruisers (3-2). The Coalition defense hung with the Bruisers and was the difference in the outcome. At 2-3 the Standout unit are only one game out of the division lead behind the Sweaty Palms and expect to make a run at the title, "we are not under any duress, I have handled many eSFL teams and have total confidence in my abilities and those of the men who drafted the team", coach Pardue stated. The Bruisers loss puts them in a tie for the Virginia division lead.


*** Following recaps are written before Mondays game has been played




114.28TOTAL159.78
81.78OFF136.28
32.5DEF23.5
Fields Fanatix SCORES
 Foles,Nickp9,p24,
 Cobb,Randallc8,
 Parkey,Cody26,27,
Rhodes Runners SCORES
 Luck,Andrewp6,r13,
 Thomas,Juliusc7,c12,
 Catanzaro,Chandler33,48,

The Rhodes Runners (3-2) all but ended the Fields Fanatix (0-5) season and put themselves back in a first place tie in the Virginia Division. The Runners once again struggled on defense, a common theme thus far this season, but put the final dagger in with a late Julios Thomas touchdown, his second of the week. The Fanatix watched as their top players, mainly running back Lesean McCoy, failed to perform up to their draft status once again. "We are totally disheveled, don't understand this, but we are going to give it all we have until the league tells us we are eliminated", coach Fields stated.




224.26TOTAL130.74
184.76OFF101.24
39.5DEF29.5
Frost`s Furrious Flurries SCORES
 Manning,Peytonp7,p31,p86,p12,
 Jeffery,Alshonc25,
 Tate,Goldenc9,
 Novak,Nick34,
Zima Ruskies SCORES
 Rodgers,Aaronp8,p66,p11,
 Nelson,Jordyc66,
 Gostkowski,Stephen48,19,23,47,35,

Off to a hot start, both teams entered the week having each won a HI 50 award, the Flurries likely leave the week having won two. The Furrious Flurries (4-1) pounded the previously unbeaten Zima Ruskies (4-1) and in the process look to have won their second straight HI 50. "What do you think about those two weeks? We are really pleased with this team, really a great team", coach Frost stated on the eSFL postgame radio show. The only dissapointment for the snowmen was tight end Heath Miller with 7.6 points. They now have a two game division lead and the most points fielded in the league.




163.52TOTAL169.24
135.02OFF145.24
28.5DEF24
D Crownholder SCORES
 Rivers,Philipp8,p12,p9,
 Bryant,Dezc2,
 Allen,Dwaynec6,
 Ellington,Andrer5,c81,
 Walsh,Blair26,
Perdew Pulverizers SCORES
 Stafford,Matthewp9,
 Forte,Mattc10,
 Green,A.J.c17,
 Foster,Arianr15,r1,
 Tucker,Justin52,27,

Wide receiver A.J. Green toyed around with another heartbreaker for the Perdew Pulverizers (2-3) but in the end they get the much needed win to stay in the hunt for the Virginia division title. One game behind the leaders and hopes of a miracle, the Pulverizers enter the toughest part of their schedule where 5 of the next 7 games are against the leagues elite performers. The D Crownholder (2-3) fall two games behind the Frost team in the division, but are near the top of the Blackjack standings.




176.28TOTAL231.04
140.78OFF202.54
35.5DEF28.5
Nachman MF SCORES
 Luck,Andrewp6,r13,
 Forte,Mattc10,
 Gostkowski,Stephen48,19,23,47,35,
Viall Vigilante SCORES
 Kaepernick,Colinp9,
 Lacy,Eddier11,r10,
 Nelson,Jordyc66,
 Thomas,Demaryiusc31,c86,
 Olsen,Gregc9,c6,
 Ellington,Andrer5,c81,
 Carpenter,Dan45,25,58,


The Viall Vigilante (2-3) kept their playoff hopes alive with a D. Thomas blowup game, and a chance at the weeks HI 50 award. "we are in the process of making a new team logo, after seeing the poll results having us next to last in the opinion of the fans, we decided to spend more time on uniform and helmet design than team management this week. I guess it paid off", coach viall stated. At 2-3 the Vigilante are still alive in the Helix division, but are still two games behind the leading Houston Rams. The Nachman MF team watched their three game winning streak come to an end as their opponent just had way to much firepower this week. "We played well, not our best, but we scored 170's and like our chances for a title run", coach Nachman said when asked what happened this week.









122.94TOTAL175.64
105.44OFF148.64
17.5DEF27
Wallie`s Texas Stars SCORES
 Rodgers,Aaronp8,p66,p11,
 Bailey,Dan33,49,
Houston Rams SCORES
 Brees,Drewp15,p5,
 Foster,Arianr15,r1,
 Maclin,Jeremyc24,
 Gates,Antonioc8,c12,
 Vinatieri,Adam38,34,


The Houston Rams (4-1) all but sealed a division title, barring a total collapse. The Rams won their third straight and pretty much own the Helix division. "Seven touchdowns to their three, they cannot compete with us, not this week, not next week, never", the confident but usually silent head coach of the Rams yelled as he headed to the shower Sunday evening. The Wallie's Texas Stars (2-3) entered the contest looking to win two in a row for the first time this season. "we sucked this week, I'm the coach, I'm the general manager, I take all the blame and apologize to all of our fans", coach Lee Wallie said at his evening presser.




Friday, October 3, 2014

Week 5 Insider-Vintage-2014












PROUD SPONSOR OF THE eSFL





By:
Matthew Templin 



Its week 5 of the eSFL season and its already put up or shut up for a few teams in the Vintage Conference.  This message particularly goes for the Fields Fanatix and Temps Texas Boys...with a loss and Zima win they go 4 or 5 games back in the standings which is a pretty damn big hole right out of the gate for these teams.  


Lets get to the games...

 


Frost lead by Peyton Manning aka The Sheriff and DeMarco Murray look for this team to pick up where they left off last week with a 225pt monster game. Zima has Rodgers and Jordy who put up decent numbers Thursday night.  With favorable match ups with Jimmy Graham and Percy Harvin will it be enough?  Nope Frost puts the freeze on and keeps Temp & Fields alive. 

Frost 185
Zima  165




  


Thursday nights game killed D right off the bat with starting Asiata and Patterson for a whooping 8 pts.  But he does have the hottest QB with Phillip Rivers and stud skill players with Rashad Jennings, Dez, & Brandon Marshall.  Perdew on paper is outmatched but those two bum ass starts by D is gonna cost him...Perdew gets it done...barely.

D 166
Perdew 170



  


This is going to be ugly....in the words of Coach M. Templin "I smell Kimchi for Fields".  With players under performing for Coach Fields he's having a brutal season.  Will the real Shady please show up?  Lesean McCoy has been unreliable to say the least.  On the other side Rhodes has a monster squad in my opinion.  Every one of his offensive players have put up double digit points the entire year except twice. He's 25/27 for all his players!  With  Luck and his beard dropping 40 bombs like its hot and John fucking Brown?! I thought he was one of the original people who signed the declaration of independence? 187 folks (thats police code for murder)

Rhodes 190
Fields 150


 



This should be a close game. Standout is managed by one of the most respected and great coaches of all time in the eSFL, Coach Pardue.  He always makes the right pick ups and never seems to make a mistake during the season.  He's going with the hot hand..."In Eli we trust"  But preseason the whole eSFL was talking up how this team was a lock to dominate...especially in the Nebula conference.  He's off to a slow start but he'll make adjustments like he always does.  Texan Bruisers seem to have something special going with the play of Jamaal Charles showing up and landing a gem with TE Donnell.  Bruisers trample the Coalition.  

Coalition 165
Texan  190

Regarding Texan Bruisers...***these sum bitches win like 3 or 4 games by putting up 150 or less every year***


GAME OF THE WEEK

Because i said so and I'm writing the insider this week

 


Coach Templin was visible upset during his post game and was fined for his comments.  "We put up 200 pts and lose another game like that...total fucking bullshit.  And the previous week a damn safety @ Seattle?!  We thought we won the game we were popping bottles celebrating our victory and the league informs me in the locker room of our loss.  A eSFL official actually says to me shit happens."

Thursday night games got the Temp train rolling with Lacy and Harrison Smith putting up 46 pts.  They have playmakers that finally started to show up last week and that was without Demarius Thomas.  Kav on the other hand has talent as well with Romo not turning the ball over and Kelvin Benjamin developing into a rising star.  Calvin Johnson has questions regarding his health.  Coach Templin was asked what he felt about it and he was blunt "I hope that sum bitch breaks both ankles getting off the bus when they arrive at the stadium"  League officials also fined coach again.  Temp train rolls...

Temp 189
Kav 160


Good luck this week everyone......except Kav and Zima.  



  

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Week 5 Insider-Nebula-2014

Scan to go to official site





AD.......A simple but effective subliminal message to the Fields Fanatix   


Written BY
RJ Griffin


I have a love and hate relationship with fantasy football. When I'm winning I think I'm a fantasy genius. But when I lose, I think I need to quit playing and quit losing money. Fantasy football is a game of luck and probability. Sometime luck wins out, sometimes its better to be lucky rather than good.






Money Team have lost their 1st round pick AP, but have managed a 2-2 record,  thanks to the D- coordinator. But they face a strong Sweaty palms teams that has posted 708 pts this year behind team leaders D.Murray and S. Smith Sr. 
Palms by 20
190-170



  


The coalition were crowned Champs after the draft, but their 1-3 record has everyone wondering. Are they paper champs? Unfortunately they take on the Texan Bruisers, the so far beast in the Vintage Division. It'll be another tough task for the Coalition. I'm going with the Bruisers 
200-150


 

Dlugiewicz Fighting Pollacks are a consistent winner. They face off with the under achieving Psycho Billiecats, a team with nothing to brag about thus far. Pollacks win by 30.
210-180



 

Viall has lost two straight and week five matches up with the Nachman MF, coming off a superb week four performance, makes me believe his luck won't be changing in any way this week. Most people believe the Nachman has the worst team name in league history. Regardless of team names, the MF unit has posted 200 plus the past two weeks. Nachman rolls again this week....
195-185





The Houston Rams are beast!! With P.Rivers and JJ Swatt. they'll put up 200 vs Who ever..

203 V 175



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