eSFL League Articles |
Commissioner: T Rhodes Vice Commissioner: BG Fields
2016 Conference Presidents: NEBULA: Jeff Frost VINTAGE: Ron Pardue
| By eSFL Commissioner on Sat May 13 10:30:36 p.m. ET 2017 |
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Ballistic Bowl 17 Perdew Pulverizers 142.84 Kav Kavanators 160.38 BB 17 Boxes Ballistic Bowl 17 was between the Vintage Football Conference (VFC) champion Perdew Pulverizers and the Nebula Football Conference (NFC) champion Kav Kavanators to decide the eStandout Fantasy Football League (eSFL ) champion for the 2016 season. The Kavanators defeated the Pulverizers by the score of 160-142, winning their first ever Ballistic Bowl. This was the Pulverizers' second Ballistic Bowl appearance. Led largely through the play of wide receivers Julio Jones and A.J. Green and a defense that ranked third in the VFC in points fielded, the Pulverizers posted an 7–5 regular season record and two easy playoff victories. The Kavanators, led by quarterback Aaron Rodgers, running back DeMarco Murray, and their top flight wide receiver group led by Odell Beckham, advanced to their first Ballistic Bowl after posting a 10–2 regular season record, winning 10 straight after an 0-2 start. The game was tight after the Thursday and Saturday games, with the Pulverizers holding a 32–29 edge. However, early Sunday morning the Kavanators demonstrated why they had won 12 staright games, jumping to a 160-124 lead, and by the end of Sunday night the score was 160-139. The Kavanators also posted a Ballistic Bowl record 160 points at early games end, and watched the Pulverizers only net an additional 3 points the rest of the day. McCoy, who was named the Ballistic Bowl MVP, finished the game with 24 rushes for 128 yards and a touchdown, compiling 35.80 points. He also had 17 receiving yards on 5 catches. His 35.80 points ranked 6th all-time in Ballistic Bolw history behind T. Brady (45.18 BB 10),P. Rivers (43.48 BB 9), D. Culpepper (38 BB 5), L. McCoy (38 BB 14), and P. Manning (37.56 BB 13). He not only joined those elite performers in the Ballistic Bowl record book, he is is now listed twice. The telecast of the game on eSFL TV was seen by an estimated 17 viewers. This was also the first times that a very large, national audience saw what will now be known as the "Kav Dump", where the other playoff owners dumped a cooler full of Angus urine over coach Kav's head following the victory (Kav was later quated as saying "wonderful win, but now I know it could have been so much sweeter". ) The Perdew unit saw their chances for a coveted Ballistic Bowl title slip away early on Sunday afternoon, but he took the defeat like a man, congratulating coach Kav on eSFL radio following the loss. A Ballistic Bowl loss cannot be truly disappointing, as just being there is a serious accomplishment. "Injuries, Kav was better all around, all season, good for him", Perdew stated at the post game presser. Below is the pre-game review along with the Fantasy Times post game report. The 17th Ballistic Bowl is upon us and I would like to congratulate Ron Kav and J. Perdew on their wonderfull accomplishments this season. The Kavanators (10-2) started the season 0-2 and it appeared things were the same in Kavland as they had been for the past 8 or 10 years. But 'Nators General Manager/Coach Ron Kavanaugh looked at the past history of owners in his conference and found one willing to give him a top 3 quarterback for three scrubs, and he made that move. The Kavanators won their final 10 and two playoffs games for 12 in a row enetering the Ballistic Bowl. The Perdew Pulverizers began the season on a tear, winning 6 of the first 7 weeks and ownership all but declared the West Virginia division theirs on eSFL Radio. But things began to change for the worst for coach Perdew and his team lost 4 in a row and entered the final regular season week begging for a playoff spot, any playoff spot, Blackjack or a division title. To obtain the division title the Pulverizers need a win and Rams loss, and thats what happened. The Pulverizers enter Ballistic Bowl 17 on a 3 game winning streak and huge under dawgs to say the least. (MyFantasyLeague.com Fantasy Times Sources - Dec 19, 2016) In a week 15 eSFL matchup, Kav Kavanators beat a strong Perdew Pulverizers team by a score of 160.38 to 142.84, extending the winning streak for Kav Kavanators to 13 games. McCoy, LeSean BUF RB LeSean McCoy Kav Kavanators were led to their 17.54 point victory by a 35.80 point effort from LeSean McCoy, who beat the Cleveland Browns defense for 153 rushing yards and 2 rushing TDs in addition to 16 receiving yards. With this performance, McCoy was the number 4 ranked overall fantasy scorer for week 15. They also got help from a 20.90 point effort from DeMarco Murray, who got by the Kansas City Chiefs defense for 89 rushing yards in addition to 52 receiving yards. "We'll use this win as a stepping stone to the next level," Kav Kavanators coach R. Kavanaugh said. Perdew Pulverizers were helped out in a losing cause by a 35.80 point effort from LeSean McCoy, who beat the Cleveland Browns defense for 153 rushing yards and 2 rushing TDs in addition to 16 receiving yards. With this performance, McCoy was the number 4 ranked overall fantasy scorer for week 15. They also got help from a 17.70 point effort from Kyle Rudolph, who got by the Indianapolis Colts defense for 97 receiving yards. "They out-coached us," Perdew Pulverizers coach Josh Perdew said. Adding salt to the wound, Perdew Pulverizers could have scored 181.20 points and earned the win with their best lineup, but Josh Perdew left key players like Andrew Luck and his corresponding 24.90 points on the bench. |
| By eSFL Commissioner on Thu Dec 15 7:03:36 a.m. ET 2016 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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The 17th Ballistic Bowl is upon us and I would like to congratulate Ron Kav and J. Perdew on their wonderfull accomplishments this season.
The Kavanators (10-2) started the season 0-2 and it appeared things were the same in Kavland as they had been for the past 8 or 10 years. But 'Nators General Manager/Coach Ron Kavanaugh looked at the past history of owners in his conference and found one willing to give him a top 3 quarterback for three scrubs, and he made that move. The Kavanators won their final 10 and two playoffs games for 12 in a row enetering the Ballistic Bowl.
The Perdew Pulverizers began the season on a tear, winning 6 of the first 7 weeks and ownership all but declared the West Virginia division theirs on eSFL Radio. But things began to change for the worst for coach Perdew and his team lost 4 in a row and entered the final regular season week begging for a playoff spot, any playoff spot, Blackjack or a division title. To obtain the division title the Pulverizers need a win and Rams loss, and thats what happened. The Pulverizers enter Ballistic Bowl 17 on a 3 game winning streak and huge under dawgs to say the least.
GAME NOTES:
These teams met in week in week 8 and Kav won 221 to 140
Coach Perdew is 0-1 in Ballistic Bowl games (14)
Coach Kav makes his first Ballistic Bowl appearence
Kav has a career 6-4 regular season record versus Perdew
These teams have never met in a playoff game
Kav won the only post season matchup between these teams (GC, TB etc)
Vintage Conference teams have a 7-4 Ballistic Bowl record
What do I think.......
Well, last weeks conference championships proved what coach Rhodes has stated many times over the past 10 years, WEATHER will play a role in eSFL playoff and Ballistic Bowl games. This week I looked at the inclimate weather teams and I think Kav should be a little concerned, but not enough to cut any deals with Josh. The only chance, in most persons opinion, for the Pulverizers to win this games, is, there has to be blizzards in all games Kavanators players participate in.
BALLISTIC BOWL 17 POSITION MATCHUP
EDGE EVEN TOSS UP
My opinion is, as you can see by the chart above, the 'Nators, in my opinion, ARE NOT huge favorites and may be the under dogs this week.
I think Kav will win the game, simply because it is his year. Fantasy football has a lot of good fortune involved and Kav is in the right place at the right time this season. But, I don't think it is a far reach to say the Pulverizers would win. Even though the Kavanators are on a 12 game win streak they, in my opinion, are not a great team. I could see the Pulverizers putting up a 212 and winning this game by 30.
MY PREDICTION:
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| By eSFL Commissioner on Tue Dec 6 7:13:04 a.m. ET 2016 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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2016 Conference Championship
  
Nebula Conference Championship 2016 will match two old foes for the right to advance to Ballistic Bowl 17
The 6-6 Blitzing Zombies (formally known as the Fields Fanatix), winners of the Helix Division, will travel to gloomy 'Nator Hater Tater Field to take on the prohibited favorites, 10-2 Kav's Kavanators. Coach Fields of the Zombies has a long and rich tradition in the eSFL, participating in Ballistic Bowls 3, 5, and 9. Coach Kav of the 'Nators seems to finally have "got it" after about 10 years of futility (and a lifetime league ban for cheating a few years back).
The 'Nators are big favorites in every ones mind, except Vegas who only has them favored by 9.4 points. When one looks at the matchups each team has they can understand the odds makers concern for Kav and his unit. Quarterback Rodgers has a tough Seattle team who has only allowed an average of 15.3 points per game to fantasy quarterbacks this season (29 of 32). On the other hand, the 'Nators will start three running backs who all have very good matchups and could be the difference this week.
At this time the Zombies are considering starting Alex Smith at quarterback, do we need to go any further? A team with little explosiveness, the walking dead will try to take it to the "Nators with consistency. On defense it appears the Zombies have a big edge, but we all know that defense is hit or miss each week. However, there is explosiveness there for the BZ.
This game will matches the 1st (Kav 2510) and 4th (BZ 2255) highest scoring teams in the 2016 eSFL
The Kavanators have won 11 in a row after an 0-2 start
The Zombies have won 4 in a row
Kav has a career playoff record of 2-2 and has no Ballistic Bowl appearances
Fields is 7-5 in playoff games dating back to 2002 and has appeared in 3 Ballistic Bowls
The Blitzing Zombies make their first ever conference championship appearance after winning their first ever eSFL playoff game last week.
Fields 6-4 vs coach Kav including a week 4 182-149 loss
These coaches have never met in the eSFL playoffs
Ok, so what do I think? I think the 'Nators have finally achieved their "Glory year". That is the year that everything goes right for a team. Their opponents score low almost every week, they score well every week, their pick ups outperform even their expectations, and on and on we could go. To win 11 in a row is very very hard to do, being done only once before in the 17 year league history. To accomplish that a lot of good fortune is required. However, this team is a strong team from top to the bottom. On the other hand, the Zombies have a 6-6 record and appear to be outgunned. Not so fast partner, this is a team who had a lot of points scored on them this year, and they do have a chance this week. The difference in this game will be defense and quarterbacks. If the Zombies can somehow find 35 from the position, and, get a 10 plus across the offensive board, they will have a shot at the 200 mark, a mark that should win this week. Their defense must outperform the "Nators 2 to 1, something like 60 to 30, and BOOM!, there you go, that will put the BZ at 175 and a chance.
  
Vintage Conference Championship 2016 is a rematch of the 2015 VFC Championship
The defending eSFL champion Rhodes Runners (7-5), try to advance to the organizations 5th Ballistic Bowl and 3rd in a row. They will have to take down the West Virginia Division champion Perdew Pulverizers (7-5) at Perdew National Forrest. Perdew will attempt to win his second conference championship in team history and revenge a loss in Ballistic Bowl 14.
Perdew looked like a real contender with a 6-1 start and the fan base was letting everyone know every opportunity they had. Then a week 8 blowout loss the the Kavanators turned it all around. The Pulverizers went on a five game skid and entered the final week with limited playoff possibilities. But in that final week, the Pulverizers returned to early season form, got the help they needed elsewhere, and won the West Virginia Division at 7-5, for the second straight season.
The Rhodes Runners also began the season on a positive note, winning the opening week Hi 50 award an starting 2-0. In week 3 they lost to this Perdew team 174-161 and the rest of the season was nothing spectacular. They did, somehow, win 7 games for their second 7-5 season in a row, good enough for the organizations' second Blackjack in a row.
This is the second year in a row these teams met in the VFC
Rhodes has a career playoff record of 7-6 and has 4 Ballistic Bowl appearances
Perdew is 7-5 in playoff games dating back to 2008 and has appeared in 1 Ballistic Bowl
Rhodes is 1-0 vs Perdew in playoff games
The all time regular season matchups between these coaches is tied at 5-5
Perdew defeated Rhodes in week 3 this season
Ok, so what do I think? Well, I believe the Pulverizers have a better opportunity for an explosive week, but it appears as though the Runners have a lot of really nice player matchups this week. Perdew is once again without AJ Green and will go with a 3/3/1 offensive set (wr/rb/te), but Julio Jones counts as 2 wide receivers if he performs up to expectations. Lesean McCoy is always a threat to post a 35, and Jeremy Hill likely will score 3 times against the Browns in Cleveland. The Runners rely on their quarterback and Antonio Brown to lead them each week, the rest of their offensive unit in not very remarkable. Jordan Howard had a huge game last week but cannot be counted on week in week out. Carlos Hyde and his fantasy production is solely dependent on him scoring TD's, something the niners don't do a lot of. Rhodes looks to have a flaccid wr group this week, starting 2 guys for the first time, and a third for only the second all season. Greg Olsen is a joke at TE. The only chance the defending world champion Runners has, is defense. Landon Collins has been huge most every week, and this is a potential good defensive outfit.
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| By eSFL Commissioner on Wed Nov 30 6:22:44 a.m. ET 2016 | ||||
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Here we are, week 13 of the 2016 eSFL, Round 1 of the playoffs, known as the "Blackjack Round"! For most teams who have made it to the 2016 playoffs it has been a long, grinding, mentally exhausting ride. They have had to endure injuries, bye weeks, poor player performance, bad luck, and anything else negative that one could imagine. But, their perseverance has paid off, and looking back all would likely admit it was an exhilarating ride. On the other hand, we have teams whom week 13 will be their first stressful event in the league for about 8 weeks. The Kavs Kavanators, winners of 10 in a row, will face their first real stressful eSFL contest since way back in weeks 3, 4, and 5 maybe, more on that situation later in our discussion though.
Regardless how a team got here, all are worthy and all have a legitimate shot at a Ballistic Bowl ring. This will be a unique eSFL playoff tourney this year, considering the NFL decided to put two teams on bye in week 13. That of course, will add to the complaining and excuse making of teams who just couldn't get it done in 2016. On that matter, the commissioner has admitted he was unaware of the week 13 byes, but stated nothing would have changed as far as the leagues playoff schedule was concerned. "Just because 9 owners did not do their research and know week 13 had teams on bye, to include myself, does not mean it is a league mistake. It is an owners responsibility to know these things prior to draft day". Do you think Bill Bellychick would not have known the situation on draft day? I believe he would have, who ever Bill Bellychick is", Rhodes stated. So, there you go, the 2016 Blackjack playoff round will have two NFL teams on bye and at least one team will complain for the next 10 years about it.
Lets look at this weeks matchups and see who we think has the best shot at advancing to the respective conference championships.
  
Two 10-2 teams in a Blackjack playoff round? Yep, that is the eSFL man. Coach Kav earned the right to make his choice of 1st round opponent by being the conference's number 1 seeded team, winning the tiebreaker with the Crush with a head to head win in week 5.
Lifetime eSFL playoff records for these teams are, Crush 3-1 and Kavanators 2-2.
Crush appeared in Ballistic Bowl 13 but lost to Zima.
Met in 2015 Gunner Cup where Kav won 186.16 to 150,90.
Never met in eSFL playoffs. Crush are 2-1 in regular season matchups vs coach Kav, losing to them this year in week 5, 205 to 100.
Orange Crush are led by Drew Brees, Rob Gronkowski, Julio Jones and Tyler Eifert. Gronk is listed as Q this week due to an injured back and must be closely monitored by coach Justin Kizima. The Crush team are a little thin in the RB compartment but do have a couple of players who have the potential to put up 25's. Jeremy Hill and Rob Kelley are the most likely, but James Starks or even Jeremy Langford could surprise. Derrick Henry will sit this one out as Tennessee is on bye. The Crush currently have two Tight Ends starting, Gronk and Eifert, a formula that usually is not conducive to putting up big numbers. Brees will shred the Lions, Sanders will tear up the Jags, Eifert will be a monster vs the Eagles, On the low end of Crush performances, if Gronk plays he likely will struggle against the Rams, but he is Gronk, so watch out. Rob Kelley likely will be a no show versus Arizona.
Kav's Kavanators are riding high entering the playoffs on a 10 game winning streak after an 0-2 start. They are not without their issues however. They have bye week blues, with DeMarco Murray, Rishard Mathews, Terrelle Prior, and D. Walker participating in the bye week. Mathews is not a factor since Kav has not started him all season. However, the others are big losses that will hamper the 'Nators and their effort to advance to the conference championship next week. We like their QB, but he may have limited mobility due to a hammy. Ajayi was a nice pick up for the 'Nators but he may have trouble vs the Ravens this week. Booker will get his 10 to 15, and McCoy can usually be counted on to put up 15, but has a tough matchup against the Raiders. Odell Beckham has a nice matchup against the Steelers but he has had his moments of poor performance this season. Really, this 'Nators team is in the top 10 ever assembled in league history, but the bye week really lowers that a lot.
The Kavanators should win this game despite having 3 very important players on bye.
NATORS 175 CRUSH 149
In week 5, Kav Kavanators defeated Orange Crush by 105.18 points, so coach Ju. Kizima is looking for revenge this week.
 
6-6 Igama Sweaty Palms play the 6-6 Blitzing Zombies at Vagasil Victory Stadium.
Coach Igama is 2-0 in eSFL playoffs and won Ballistic Bowl XII
Coach Fields has a career playoff record of 6-5 with 3 Ballistic Bowl losses (3, 5, 9)
Igama leads regulars season meetings with a 4-3 record vs coach Fields, including splitting two games in 2016, weeks 1 and 10.
Never met in eSFL playoffs.
Igama 0-1 in postseason meetings.
Igama Sweaty Palms are led by Antonio Brown, Big Ben, and Mike Evans. Frank Gore and Tyrell Williams have been surprises for sure, and Devante Adams is always a threat to go off. The Palms have had an up and down season, been the discussion of collusion all year, and are staring down the barrel of distrust. Acquiring Brown and Ben from the flaccid Swarts team was big talk around the league, but Igama has yet to receive any benefit from the accusation. That can all change over the next few weeks, as long as weather for the Steelers games do not interfere with those two players production.
Blitzing Zombies are another team who have a top player on bye, quarterback Marry Ota will sit this one out. In his place comes Colin Kappernick, remember the TV show "Welcome Back Kapper"? Led by Elliot, the Zombies complete the remaining spots on their roster with players who are known to always be hurt, or not to show up in big time games (Bryant, Hopkins, Marshall, Olsen).
Sweaty Palms should win this one if Big Ben and Antonio has any decent performance, 20 and 15 will do.
Palms 174 Zombies 152
In week 10, Blitzing Zombies defeated Igama Sweaty Palms by 28.78 points, so coach J. Igama is looking for revenge this week.
  
7-5 Rhodes Runners face off against the 10-2 Manning Face.
Coach Rhodes has a career playoff record of 7-6 with 2 Ballistic Bowl wins (9,16) in four appearances (2,9,15,16).
Coach Nachman is 1-2 in eSFL playoff games and has never played coach Rhodes in such events.
Nachman is 3-0 vs Coach Rhodes in Regular season play to include a week 8 win in 2016.
The Back to Back defending Vintage conference champion Rhodes Runners will go on the road and meet the Manning Face, a team the Runners have never beaten.
This is not a powerhouse unit that the Runners have fielded the past two seasons. Led by Big Ben and Antonio, their performce will dictate whether the Rhodes team can compete in this one or not. The remaining players on this roster are under achievers or flat out average players.
Manning Face had a very nice season in 2016 despite the fact they did not make 1st or 2nd round picks in the draft, Led by Aaron Rodgers and.......well......Fitz has been a great player again, Thomas, Gore, Gordon, Wallace, Fleener, for the most part have been surprise performers on the year.
The Runners have the edge but for some reason has had trouble with Manning Face teams over the past two seasons. MF will sit Pryor who is on bye, while the Runners will likely be without Diggs.
MF 217 Runners 147
In week 8, Manning Face defeated Rhodes Runners by 34.36 points,
 
7-5 Perdew Pulverizers face off against the 8-4 Wallies Texas Stars
Perdew lost Ballistic Bowl 14.
Perdew 7-5 all time in eSFL playoffs.
Lee Wallie is 1-2 all time in eSFL playoffs.
These coaches have never met in eSFL playoffs.
Perdew leads all time regular season matchups 2-1 to include a 220-159 week 7 win in 2016.
The Wallies Texas Stars have been on a roll and are a team on the rise. Winners of the Global division he is led by Elliot, Drew Brees, David Johnson, Brandin Cooks, Mike Evans, and Jordan Reed. In my opinion, this is one of the best teams to ever be assembled in league history. However, all the accolades go down the drain if somehow this team lays an egg here.
Perdew won the West Virginia division by holding off the charging Houston Rams in week 12. The Pulverizers' division crown is the second in a row and they have been rewarded with a tough matchup against the Stars. His featured players are, LeSean McCoy, Julio Jones, and Andrew Luck. The Pulverizers will need a 650 gallon storage drum of luck to compete in this one. Injury to AJ Green is a big loss, but what can one expect from AJ Green?
Wallies 211 Perdew 139
Good luck to everyone and don't forget, "DEFENSE WINS TITLES"
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| By eSFL Commissioner on Wed Nov 23 6:34:49 a.m. ET 2016 |
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In the week 12-16 Insider I discussed playoff implications. To come to my conclusions I incorrectly was using Total Points Scored as the 4th tiebreaker, Victory Points is actually the 4th tiebreaker. Therefore, my analysis of the playoff implications is not 100 percent accurate. However, I see only a slim chance that Victory Points would matter. The Wallies Texas Stars currently have 43, and Rhodes has 40. So, my analysis of, Wallies Win and they are in, could be wrong. If the Runners and Wallies were to win, and the Runners finished with higher VP, Rhodes would be the division winner.
So in week 12, If both Runners and Wallies win, for Rhodes to be division winner:
The Runners must win and be in top 1/3 in scoring in the league for the week. That would give him 2 plus 4=6 for a season total of 46 (40 plus 6). AND
Wallies win (2) he must score in the bottom 1/3 of the league in scoring for the week. That would give him 2 for the win, minus 1 for being in bottom 1/3, so he would finish the season with 44 VP (43 plus 2=45 minus 1 = 44).
Thats the only way Rhodes wins the division IF BOTH HE AND WALLIES WIN in week 12.
See the list below:
#1: Overall Winning Percentage
#2: Head-To-Head Record #3: Divisional Winning Percentage #4: Victory Points #5: Total Points Scored #6: Conference Winning Percentage #7: Power Rank #8: All-Play Winning Percentage #9: Total Defensive Points #10: Total Offensive Points
You can view the VICTORY POINTS YEARLY SUMMARY by going to: (REPORTS>STANDINGS>VICTORY POINTS SUMMARRY)
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| By eSFL Commissioner on Tue Nov 22 5:58:29 a.m. ET 2016 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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CORRECTIONS:
In the week 12-16 Insider I discussed playoff implications. To come to my conclusions I incorrectly was using Total Points Scored as the 4th tiebreaker, Victory Points is actually the 4th tiebreaker. Therefore, my analysis of the playoff implications is not 100 percent accurate. However, I see only a slim chance that Victory Points would matter. The Wallies Texas Stars currently have 43, and Rhodes has 40. So, my analysis of, Wallies Win and they are in, could be wrong. If the Runners and Wallies were to win, and the Runners finished with higher VP, Rhodes would be the division winner.
So in week 12, If both Runners and Wallies win, for Rhodes to be division winner:
The Runners must win and be in top 1/3 in scoring in the league for the week. That would give him 2 plus 4=6 for a season total of 46 (40 plus 6). AND
Wallies win (2) he must score in the bottom 1/3 of the league in scoring for the week. That would give him 2 for the win, minus 1 for being in bottom 1/3, so he would finish the season with 44 VP (43 plus 2=45 minus 1 = 44).
Thats the only way Rhodes wins the division IF BOTH HE AND WALLIES WIN in week 12.
See the list below:
#1: Overall Winning Percentage
#2: Head-To-Head Record #3: Divisional Winning Percentage #4: Victory Points #5: Total Points Scored #6: Conference Winning Percentage #7: Power Rank #8: All-Play Winning Percentage #9: Total Defensive Points #10: Total Offensive Points
END CORRECTIVE TEXT
Week 12 is upon us and we must congratulate all division winners:
Manning Face
Orange Crush
Kavanators
It is never easy to win a division in the eSFL, so you have a lot to be proud of. We still have 3 divisions up for grab entering the final week, the West Virginia and Global in the Vintage Conference. In the Nebula Conference there is a dog fight in the Helix division.
Additionally, the commissioner has issued Black Jack hunting license to about 10 teams! Yes, 10 teams are in the BJ race. Lets look at the division races and some scenarios:
The Rams win the division IF THEY WIN in week 12 OR Perdew LOSES in week 12
The Pulverizers win the division IF THEY WIN week 12 AND Rams LOSE week 12
After a 6-1 start to the season, the Pulverizers are holding on for dear life. They play a tough Texan Bruisers team in the final week, the Rams will play the rising Zima Ruskies squad. Both teams have tough match ups for sure.
I will lean towards the Rams winning this division, leaving Perdew hoping for a Black Jack type scoring week.
NOTE:
Have a look at the tiebreakers and note that VP is before Total Points:
#1: Overall Winning Percentage
#2: Head-To-Head Record #3: Divisional Winning Percentage #4: Victory Points #5: Total Points Scored #6: Conference Winning Percentage #7: Power Rank #8: All-Play Winning Percentage #9: Total Defensive Points #10: Total Offensive Points
The Runners have somehow led this division pretty much the entire year. Wallies Texas Stars have been pushing and pushing, and has finally moved into a record wise tie. At this moment the Runners are in 1st place due to their 3-1 division record.
The Runners win the division IF the STARS LOSE in week 12
Its that simple for Wallies, win and they win the division (however, it would depend on victory points as the tiebreaker. Rhodes could win that tiebreaker, but it would be a long shot). Reason being, both would have a 3-1 division record. Rhodes is in if Wallies loses, regardless whether or not the Runners win because Wallies Division record would be 2-2.
I like the Texas Stars team a lot and believe they have the upper hand here. Rhodes plays a tough Kavanator team who has won 9 straight games. The Stars will take on the high scoring D Crownholder team, a game which could be a close one. I think the Stars are division winner, but if they do not, they are all but guaranteed the Vintage Black Jack.
What we have here is a perfect storm scenario for the Blitzing Zombies. They chased all year, and now the chase has come down to a week 12 do or die deal. I would like to point out, the division winner MUST have a .500 or better record. If noone does, the playoff spot will be awarded to a Black Jack team.
Zombies are in IF THEY WIN in week 12
Igama MUST WIN and Zombies LOSE
If BOTH Zombies and Igama LOSE, we award a Black Jack rather than a division winner
I love the Zombies chances to get this division. In week 12 they play the Swarts Hammersticks, who, need I remind anyone, is pathetic.
Igama has Viall and should be able to handle him. I predict the Blitzing Zombies will be the Helix Division winner in 2016!
Lets look at the beloved Black Jack scenario!
Second row for each team is updated after week 12 scores and that teams score is final
If Zima beats Houston, Runners qualify as Blackjack UNLESS Zima post a score of 289.97 in week 12
The Black Jack will depend a lot on who wins their divisions. If Rhodes wins the Global, Wallies Texas Stars are all but guaranteed the Blackjack.
If Wallies wins the Global, everyone else will be chasing Rhodes who has a slim 15 point lead over Perdew. Everyone should be rooting for the Texas Stars to in the Global division. If they do win, that will give 3 teams a legitimate shot and a 4th with a long shot at the Black Jack.
The Black Jack will depend a lot on who wins the Helix Division.
If Zombies win the Helix, Igama will be in the BJ lead with 4 teams with a real chance to over take him..
If Igama wins the Helix Division, there will be 3 teams, maybe 4 who have a shot at over taking the Zombies. The Zombies would be in a dog fight with Pardue and don't count out the cats.
However, remember Blitzing Zombies play Swarts, I believe this BJ race comes down to Pardue and the Cats chasing Igama.
Good luck to everyone. We will have more Insiders this week, so if you have any takes let us know!
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| By eSFL Commissioner on Thu Nov 17 7:12:11 a.m. ET 2016 | ||
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Week 11-2016
Playoff Implications, scenarios, and crazy shit that COULD happen!
The eSFL regular season is coming to a close, with only two weeks remaining and 3 playoff weeks ahead. Week 11 and Week 12 will decide the playoff bracket, and also form the Gunner Cup bracket as well. Many of the divisions are in close races to try to claim the top spot and earn a berth into the Ballistic Bowl bracket, and some are just trying to score as many points, and become blackjack eligible. Let’s take a look at the matchups and forecast what we foresee happening this week, as well as a few scenario situations for week 12.
Non-Conference Matchup this week features:
D Crownholder vs RJ Griffins
 
This matchup is irrelevant this week, as neither of these teams are fighting for a division crown, and the only chance for either, is the blackjack. D Crown is currently in a position to contend with others inside the Vintage Conference, with 1759.56 points going into this week. RJ is over 100 points away with 2 games to play, and is in my opinion, on the outside looking in. We have said enough about these two mutts, let’s move on…. D Crown wins 178 to 164
Frost Furrious Flurries vs Zima Ruskies
 
Both of these teams have been eliminated from the division race about 3 weeks ago. They both have horrid records at 3-7 and 1-9. Frost looks like the Vial unit from a few years back that went winless, except for that lonely victory back in week 2 against Igama. Once an eSFL champion, Frost hasn’t put a unit together since the mid 2000’s. Zima is still in the hunt for a blackjack spot, but he is nearly 175 points out of that race. He is on the outside looking in as well. Enough about these two mutts as well, let’s continue on…. Zima 201 Frost 102
Psycho Billiecats vs Swarts Hammersticks
 
The Billiecats need a couple of victories and some help from his division leader at the moment, to even have a chance at taking the Quasar division. Swarts is pathetic, at a 1-9 record, and couldn’t hit sand, if he fell off a camel! He is finished, and will likely get bounced in the first round of the Gunner cup in a couple of weeks. Psycho needs points for a blackjack run, as he is currently sitting 35 points out of the lead in the Nebula Conference. This game shouldn’t be close, but Coach Klim always finds a way to step on his pecker…. Swarts 175 Psycho 148 (by the way Klimmer, better luck next year, your ass is in the Gunner Cup boy!)
Pardue Bruisermakers vs Kav Kavanators
 
Pardue is out of the division race and Kav has clinched the Orion division. Kav can sit back and relax for two more weeks, and enjoy being the first team to clinch. Pardue is in need of points, as Fields took back over the lead in the Conference blackjack standings, as he currently is sitting 36 points behind. Everyone has knocked this Pardue unit all year, and he is currently staring at his worst eSFL record in probably 10 years of coaching. I wouldn’t be surprised if the blackjack standings don’t tighten up heading into week 12, with Pardue gaining this week on Fields. The score is irrelevant, but Pardue gets the victory. Pardue 223 Kav 197
Viall Vigilante vs Blitzing Zombies
 
Somehow, both of these teams still have a shot to win the Helix Division crown. Both units have the same record at 4-6 and only one game behind Igama at the moment. Fields has the blackjack lead at the moment in the conference, if the season ended right now. Viall is way behind on points, and needs a miracle to win the division. That miracle must begin with a Viall victory this week, and an Igama loss, then we can work on scenarios later. Point to note, the division winner MUST have at least 6 wins, if not, the playoff spot goes to another Blackjack team. Not a snowball’s chance in hell, that Viall comes from 2 games behind with 2 to play, to win the Helix. Zombies 194 Vial 178
Orange Crush vs Igama Sweaty Palms
 
Orange Crush can clinch the Quasar Division with a win this week and Igama can all up clinch with a victory as well. Igama has good points, and is currently leading the division. Both of these teams look to be in the playoff picture, unless crazy shit happens with the other Quasar members. Orange wins this tight game, and makes Igama’s palms even sweatier in week 12. Orange 198 Igama 194
Manning Face vs Texan Bruisers
 
An Appalachian Division showdown, between the top two teams and the Bruisers need some help. They have to win this game, to even have a chance at the division, and then win week 12 and have Manning Face lose in week 12. That’s a lot of crazy shit to have happen, and it’s still very possible. Texan keeps the race close, and makes week 12 a shootout for the division. Texan 206 Manning Face 157
Perdew Pulverizers vs Houston Rams
 
Perdew looks to clinch the West Virginia Division this week, with a victory over the Houston Rams. Houston is way behind on the points race, so this is a must win for them. Perdew has started the season 6-1 but has dropped his last three games, mainly due to piss poor coaching and injuries. The Houston Rams need a victory this week, and then match whatever happens to Perdew in week 12. That scenario could play out, and Perdew would be eliminated from the playoff picture (unless he somehow manages the blackjack, but not likely, as he sits 90 points out of the race) Houston probably has the better team, but Perdew will get lucky and take him down in a close one. Perdew 188 Houston 185
Rhodes Runners (7-3) vs Wallies Texas Stars (6-4)
Rhodes Runners have someone managed to hold onto the lead in the Global Division, after battling some major injuries. They currently hold a one game lead, just as the Pulverizers do in the game above, and the same scenario looks to be in order. A Rhodes victory, and the division is clinched, with a loss, shit gets mighty interesting in week 12. Wallies probably has the better unit and should win this one, and we could see an eruption on the next Rhodes presser. Let’s all hope for a Runners loss, to make week 12 even better! Wallies 209 Rhodes 193
Week 12 look ahead:
Kav has clinched, no other team has just yet. I cannot predict the future, so the above is just random bullshit. We don’t know what’s going to happen until the final game of week 12 is played.
I do know this…. 5 of 6 divisions are still up in the air with two weeks to play, and this year’s eSFL season has been a dandy! Many scenarios to look at, and the possibilities are endless. For those few that are currently on the outside looking in, keep your head up, and strive to earn the Gunner Cup championship. That is a remarkable accomplishment, and you will find no other bracket as tough. If any of the members of this league can find another fantasy football league that compares to this one, I need to see it. Reach out to me if so…
Article written by:
J Perdew, Coach & GM of the Pulverizers and former eSFL Correspondent
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| By eSFL Commissioner on Thu Nov 10 7:43:39 p.m. ET 2016 | ||
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| By eSFL Commissioner on Thu Nov 10 7:09:18 a.m. ET 2016 |
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Here we are, week 10 in eSFL season 17. The presidential election is finally over (an election in which people who wear motorcycle club jackets, trucker hats, wife beater shirts, shaved heads, and cut off blue jean shorts showed up at the poll in record numbers) and everyone can get back to their mundane existence. That existence includes playing fantasy football, so lets not dwell on things such as:
-Not showing up for work or any scheduled appointment. Contrary to what those of you in the age group of 15-34 believe, it is important to not be late or miss scheduled appointments, if you do that on a regular basis you will be relieved of your job and be looking for another way to finance your pot smoking and Code Red Mt. Dew habits. Unless of course your boss is in the same age group, then your job will soon cease to exist, it’s just a matter of time OR if you are living in a country once controlled by the Ottoman Empire, it is acceptable to never be on time in those places. If you tell someone you will be somewhere at a certain time then be there at that time.
-When someone does you a favor you need to understand, they didn't’t have to do it, you should let them know that you are grateful, maybe even offer to make it up to them in the future. These favors includes living in mom and dads basement rent free (and eating their groceries), having someone else write an assignment or article you are responsible for (when they volunteer to write it for you responding with “cool” is not an appropriate thank you or adequate showing of gratitude).
-Not everyone does not work a full time job (or weird ass hours) like you, so don’t assume that everyone stays up until 3 am and sleeps until 3 PM most days like you do.
-Growing up in Kentucky I conducted an assessment on what percentage of people driving a truck with a rifle in the back windshield actually needed a rifle in the back windshield (.03 percent). Granted, this was in the mid 80’s, but I suspect the numbers are still the same or even lower.
Ok, we have a lot of stuff besides the above mentioned things that we won’t dwell on, but we will dwell on a few things going on in the eSFL this year.
Zima sucks but no so bad that he cannot win a few games. Hey, like I said several weeks ago, the Ruskies will win 4 or 5 games this year, so they have three weeks to get two more. This week against Perdew he will find a team who is struggling at the wrong time of the year. Perdew has lost two in a row and are hanging on for their playoff lives in the West Virginia division.
Zima 178 Perdew 172
Manning Face won another, this time earning the win with a team season high 224 points over the tough luck Zombies. This week he gets Bob Templin’s Houston Rams who are chasing Perdew in the WV division. The Rams lost a heart breaker last week in a game he should have won to move into 1st place in his division.
RAMS 154 MF 139
Rhodes versus Crownholder is a Global division battle. The entire division is up for grabs and if D wishes to win it this is a must win game this week. Two games being Rhodes and one behind the Texas Stars it looks like a win out to make the playoffs for this team. Rhodes on the other hand, caught a huge break when Zima bounce the Texas Stars last week, and with the Runners win they have a one game lead over the Stars. However, these remaining division games will determine the division winner, Rhodes needs to win one of the remaining 3 and maybe even 2 of 3 to be the division winner.
Crownholder 213 Runners 167
Pardue and Wallies is a great matchup. The Wallies Texas Stars are one of the top teams in the league and look to rebound from a tough loss to the 1-7 Ruskies last week. Pardue has been counted out by many callers on the eSFL Radio shows over the past four weeks, but he is making a Blackjack run. After a 1-6 start he has won 2 in a row posting a 205 and 196 in those weeks. He has no chance to win the division, but is in second place in the Blackjack hunt, 5 points behind the Billiecats.
Pardue 211 Stars 189
 
Texan Bruisers play the Frost Furious Flurries, a game that will likely be won by the Bruisers and get them back within 1 game of division leader Manning Face.
Bruisers 178 Frost 134
Swarts Hammersticks is the worst team the eSFL has ever seen. As a matter of fact, if he does not start showing more attention to his team it will, well, what can you do to that unit? It’s a joke, and one of the worst additions to the league in it’s history. The Orange Crush have won a lot of games where the opponent didn't’t score any points, this week will be no different. They will go to 8-2 and all but lock up the Quasar division crown.
Crush 156 Swarts 89
Kav has a nice unit this year and is looking for his eighth win in a row and lock down the Orion division title. RJ Griffin is in second place in the same Orion division two games out with three to go, so a loss will mean Kav will be division champs in 2016. A win however will put the Griffin in position to pull off what seems to be an impossible feat, win the Orion division when down two games with three to go.
Kav 201 RJ 165
The Blitzing Zombies (3-6) are two games behind the Sweaty Palms (5-4) in the Helix division so this weeks matchup between the two is a huge one. I think the Zombies have all but conceded the division crown to Igama or Vial (4-5) and are hunting a Blackjack playoff birth. Currentl the Z’s are sitting in third place in the BJ race, but are only single digits behind the leaders. The worst thing that could happen to the walking dead is if one of the current division leaders somehow end up not winning their division. That would become a real issue in the BJ hunt probably. As far as Igama goes, his team is one of the elite this year and if he does not win the division title it would be a huge disappointment. He only has a one game lead, but I see this team as a Ballistic Bowl contender, he will have to get by Kav at some point however. Another side note to this matchup is the Igama Sweaty Palms have filed a grievance with the league over the Blitzing Zombies name and logo. Their grievance states their team name, Sweaty Palms, is the same thing as a Zombie. They wish the league to force the Blitzing Zombies to change team names. We contacted the commissioner and he stated, "it is apparent the league has two teams with Zombies as their mascot. This is not allowed in the league and do not know how it slipped past us in the review process. So, as commissioner, I have ruled that THE LOSER OF THIS GAME will lose their team name and must apply for a different one."
Igama 194 Zombies 163 (better get a different mascot figured out boy!)
 
The Psycho Billiecats (5-4) are in need of a win to put pressure on the Orange Crush (7-2) for the Quasar division. The ‘cats have a real chance at winning the division or earning a blackjack spot this year. Their problem has been consistency, something a Ballistic Bowl team must have to run through the playoffs. This week they play the Viall Vigilante ( 4-5 Helix division) who themselves are in a near must win situation.
Cats 238 Viall 175
Now, week 10, wow it has went by pretty fast. The excitement of the draft faded rather quickly for some teams while for some it took several weeks. In my opinion week 10 is when the fun starts. You have fought all year to give your team an opportunity to be a playoff team, nows the time to make the title run. In my opinion, there are 5 teams who I consider a Ballistic Bowl threat in 2017 at this point in the season. Below I list the top 10, in order, who I believe is the best teams with the best title chance:
1. Kav
2. Igama
3. Wallies
4. Pardue
5. Texan
6. Perdew
7. Psycho
8. Rhodes
9. Crush
10. Zombies
Reminder, after week 10 (0700 ET 15 Nov) placing or removing a player from your IR will be FREE. I will create a leaguesafe payment site so everyone can pay their transaction fees for the year. Transaction fees are trades, IR moves, etc., and must be payed by 23 Nov at 1800 et. If a team does not meet the payment deadline, their team is ineligible for post season play (playoffs, gunner cup, etc).
Disclaimers:
I have never cast a single vote for either the Republicans or Democrats in my entire life.
On Tuesday night, Bill Clinton's dick fucked Hillary for the first time in 10 years.
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| By eSFL Commissioner on Fri Nov 4 4:53:55 p.m. ET 2016 | ||
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This week in the eSFL we have about nine games that have absolutely no importance to them. Last week we had nine, and the week prior we had the same. Next week we will have.....well...you can probably guess....yep....nine.
This week in the league we also have zero INSIDERS that have information of value. Hey, the same number as last week, and the week before, and every fucking week before that.
The league did have one presser that had valuable info in it, but it was deleted before being published and one with no value took its place.
But I want to announce that after this week, in week ten, an announcement will be made in the INSIDER that will be chock full of valuable info. It likely will be the final INSIDER that has value, so I would hope everyone reads it and reads it carefully. It will consist of info on how not one mofo on this planet is entitled to anything, much less anyone reading this garbage. It will contain valuable info on how you, yes you, are expected to earn everything you get in life. I know this goes against a few of the younger guys thinking and upbringing, but let me tell you, well, lets just hold off until next week. The info of great value will also discuss how to be on time, YEAH MOFO, that means not one damn minute late, not for anything. We will have a nice big discussion on your future and how it will play out for all those who cannot show appreciation for someone doing you a favor, for being late, for thinking you are entitled, for believing you can change the world (YOU CANT MOFO).
VS
Well, the Runners have been a pathetic unit the past month, I see no change in that because Big Ben will either not play, play like shit, or pop his knee cap again in the second quarter. The Rams are chasing the Pulverizers who I believe are about to enter a period of despair themselves. Perdew, go F@#$ yourself and your shitty team!
RAMS 154 RUNNERS 134
Thats it, I'm tired of this shit.
Crownholder blast the Pulverizers
Because the Perdew ownership group will not respond to my text
Texas Stars bust up the Ruskies
The Ruskies SUCK and we have all known it since the draft
RJ gets a win vs SWARTS
Aint that a big accomplishment?
Pardue dominates the Crush
Pardue is about to run on you boy's, grab him a Blackjack and run through the playoffs
Billiecats butt%&^% the NATORS
Nators got a good team, its just their turn to get beat by a team that has fallen and cannot get back up
Zombies send MF bak to reality
Any team who carries TWO kickers is likely in trouble, since both these teams are carrying two kickers I will give the advantage to the Zombies because it was probably an oversight on coach Fields, rather than a strategy thing by MF.
BRUISERS AND IGAMA TIE (that a T...I...E)
Been one tie in league history, this will be number two!
Frost and Vial has been cancelled
Both fans who purchased tickets can get a full refund
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| By eSFL Commissioner on Wed Nov 2 6:10:34 p.m. ET 2016 | ||
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| By eSFL Commissioner on Sat Oct 29 8:00:47 p.m. ET 2016 |
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VS
Brees at home this weekend gets the big edge over Russell. Big disadvantage at RB for Crush however. Tevin Coleman is out this weekend so look for freeman to post a huge outing. Gronk faces a tough Bills defense and Eifert is looking to have that breakout game. Crown by 24
VS
Patriots offense was snubbed last time they met with the Bills but there was no Tom Brady. Id still say this game won’t post big numbers which is bad news for Houston. Texan has Booker looking to carry the load in Denver and I would expect big numbers. I think this game will be tight to the finish. Texan by a couple
VS 
Wallies RB are a scary matchup for anyone to face. Throw in a decent WR core and Reed at tight end and I don’t see Frosts bunch being able to hang. It will take some big defensive showings for Frost to keep it close. Wallie by 40
VS
Rhodes got some nice garbage time from Bortles throwing against the 2nd team defense Thursday night and he needed the help. With Antonio on bye his team looks a whole lot different. Id look for Aaron Rodgers to pick up where he left off last week with a big night and Mannings WR to tip the scales. Manning by 20
 VS
This is a pretty even matchup and should make for a good one. Kav has the RB and Perdew the WR. Qbs are a push and I would give Delanie Walker the nod over Rudolph. Both teams also have the others top WR connection from their QB in Cobb and Hilton. Kav by single digits.
VS
I think it’s time to throw in the towel on the Ruskies season. Disappointing WR and lowsy quarterback play have been the downfall and I don’t see it changing this week. In a low scoring matchup I give a slight edge to RJ RJ by 10
 VS
This game could be a shootout. Pardue has an all around solid squad but Zombie has a few wild cards in Ty Montgomery and Dez returning to action. I would look for both of them to have a big Sunday and am taking the underdog. Zombie by 15
VS
I like Andrew Luck over Carr. RBs are a push but the big edge goes to Igama for WRs. Psycho is gonna need Reed to have a big day and get a little help out of his defensive guys. Igama by 25
VS
Swarts has had some bad luck all year facing off against teams that go off. I would look for a little more of the same. I give a solid edge to Viall in QB WR and TE categories. Swarts is gonna need Jones and Miller to really show up with the ground game to stay in it. Viall by 15
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| By eSFL Commissioner on Wed Oct 26 8:17:02 a.m. ET 2016 | ||
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| By eSFL Commissioner on Sat Oct 22 6:10:01 p.m. ET 2016 |
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VS
Let’s just jump right in, and start with the Rams vs the Bruisermakers. Last week the Rams finally got a great performance from Gronk to the tune of 29.20 points and with NE playing the struggling Steelers, you can expect the same thing this week. Rams coach B. Templin said “Every point is going to matter this week.” Pardue was led last week by Cooks who will have Brees throwing him the ball which will cancel out some of his points this week. Coach Pardue said this week “Our defense is killing us this year which is usually our strong suit.” This is an important game for both teams as they try to keep their playoffs hopes alive. Comes down to who has the better WRs in this one and that team will win.
Rams 184.35 Bruisermakers 170.20
VS
Stars were led in scoring last week by stud RB David Johnson with 40 points, and he needs another big week this week. Stars are coming off the high point total for the week and want to keep that momentum going. Coach L. Wallie said “It was a good week for us and we need to keep it going.” Pulverizers were led last week by Julio who continues to excel this season. This game comes down to whose backup RB performs better and whose WRs play better this week. I think Perdew has the better WRs and that will be what wins this game for him but it will be a good one for sure.
Pulverizers 164.63 Stars 158.34
VS
Bruisers are coming off a win last week led by Michael and his 27 points and are looking to start a winning streak this week. Coach Templin said “We just need to keep doing what we did last week and win games.” The Ruskies are coming off a huge upset led by their defense and Hopkins finally getting some points for them. Ruskies coach J. Zima said “we have to take advantage of weak performances by the other teams while we can.” This game is going to be close real close, but I think it comes down to WRs and for some reason I have a feeling that Ruskies comes out on top.
Ruskies 170.54 Bruisers 165.32
VS
Both teams are coming off of losses this week. The Flurries have not announced a starting QB at press time but we expect Matt Ryan to start and put up numbers for him this week. This game shouldn’t be close but I am sure it will be. Rhodes will have his defense win this game for him in what is much closer than the experts expected.
Runners 159.48 Flurries 140.45
VS
This is another game that will be close. Rodgers should bounce back this week against a weak Bears defense and throw at least 3 TDs and 300 yards. The Crownholders will be led by Charles this week who plays the weak Saints defense, we predict at least 100 yards and 2 TDs. Coach Kimza said “we just have to keep fighting and hang in there, the wins will come.” This game will come down to which QB has a better week this week and that will be Manning Face but won’t be by much.
Manning Face 172.34 Crownholder 169.27
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| By eSFL Commissioner on Wed Oct 19 5:01:23 p.m. ET 2016 | ||
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| By eSFL Commissioner on Sat Oct 15 3:17:35 p.m. ET 2016 | ||
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Well we are almost to the halfway point of the season and have some teams that are already making plans for next season and some teams that are hoping for a better 2nd half of the season in order to make it to the playoffs and have a shot at that coveted Ballistic Bowl championship. Let’s get started breaking down this week’s games.
VS
First we have an out of conference matchup between the Texas Stars and the Billiecats. Both teams sit at 3-2 and a game back from first in their respective divisions. Both teams get their starting QB back this week and I like Brees more than I like Cam in this matchup. Neither team had a great start on Thursday night with Benjamin putting up a pathetic 1.7 points and the Stars defense sucking it up as well. Stars has an advantage in the RB department with the #1 and 3 backs in the league who hope to keep putting up huge numbers and I think they will have a drop off this week but not enough to kill him. Both teams are playing Matthews and Reed so they will cancel out, this game is going to come down to can the Stars star RBs put up enough to carry this team and I think they will in a game closer than Coach Wallie thought it would be.
Stars 169 Billiecats 161
VS
Next we got the Rams against the Flurries, not going to spend much time on this game because the Flurries are a joke and have no chance of winning this game. The Flurries are the lowest scoring team in the league and that won’t change this week. The Rams have Brady back and that is all they need to win this game. Coach Templin said he doesn’t like overlooking any teams but is already game planning for his out of conference game next week. Rams win this game easily and the Flurries become more of a joke this week.
Rams 157 Flurries 104
VS
Up next we have the Ruskies and the Runners. This is another blowout game with the 1st place Runners and the last place Ruskies. The Ruskies will stay winless this week as they run into what is probably the best team in the league this year. The double up of Big Ben and Brown will produce as they always do. The Runners are going to hope for good games from their RBs who aren’t the strongest in the league but are good enough to win this game. I don’t think we need to talk much more about this game because we all know the Runners are going to win.
Runners 187 Ruskies 137
VS
We are now to the Bruisers against the Crownholders. The Bruisers are coming off back to back losses after starting the season 3-0. The Crownholders are coming off a great performance last week and look to continue winning. Coach Chaz said his team is in an almost must win this week already being a game back of a team that has definitely outperformed preseason expectations and needing to stop this losing streak. Bruisers continue to ride the hot hand of Carr and hope he can continue to produce this week. Anderson was disappointing on Thursday and now need his other players to step up and make up for his underperformance. Crownholder definitely has the advantage in RBs especially after Anderson did nothing this week. Looks like the Bruisers have the advantage at WR but only if his WRs start to play up to their potential instead of sucking like they have all year. No one thinks Bennett is going to have a repeat performance of last week, so the TE battle should be a close one. This game might come down to defense and the Bruisers have had the best defense in the league so far this year and they are hoping to continue that this week. This game will come down to the wire but the Bruisers are going to pull it out.
Bruisers 189 Crownholder 187
VS
The game of the week this week is against two 1st place teams in Manning Face and Perdew. At the beginning of the season everyone would of thought that Manning Face would be the bottom of the barrel after not getting a 1st or 2nd round pick but somehow they are 4-1 and in 1st place. Perdew has a solid team this year especially at the WR position and is starting newly acquired Eddie Lacy this week. Perdew has the advantage at every position except QB. I think this is the week that we finally see the Manning Face team we all thought we were going to see all season.
Perdew 198 Manning Face 144
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| By eSFL Commissioner on Fri Oct 14 8:00:39 a.m. ET 2016 | ||
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| By Igama Sweaty Palms on Tue Oct 11 12:18:54 p.m. ET 2016 |
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VS
I'll start this article by talking about the game of the week. Both of these squads have a record of 3-2 but the main difference this week is the Sweaty Palms are playing without their star receiver Mike Evans and All Pro Safety Harrison Smith. The Kavanators are hoping to ride their 3 game win streak and hope to steamroll through the competition by relying on A-A-Ron Rodgers and DeMarco Murray to carry the team to another victory. When asked by the media about how Coach Igama plans on replacing Evans and Smith, he replied by saying, "You can never replace that level of talent but we have a couple of guys in mind." Perhaps he was talking about the most recent free agent acquisition Marcus Cooper and the reemergance of John Brown and Cameron Artis-Payne. Only time will tell which player will be inserted in the starting line up. This game will be a tough match up but I have the Sweaty Palms pulling through by single digit.
Sweaty Palms 189 - 180 Kav Kavanators
VS
Orange Crush is looking to bounce back after their worst performance in team history. Coach Kizima is under a lot of pressure from the fans to rally his troops after last week's poor performance. "We can't keep dwelling on the past. It's a new week and our focus is on beating the Vigilantes this week." Look for the Crush's WR unit to keep them in a close game while the Vigilante's RB stable attempt to pull away with the W. In the end, I predict coach Kizima to overtake the lead in the end to come out with the W thanks to a very low scoring game from Matt Ryan and Devonta Freeman.
Orange Crush 160 - 145 Viall Vigilante
VS
Another high scoring game that will be decided by single digit. I've said this before and I'll say it again, Blitzing Zombies had the best WR unit in the league up until last week's trade of the year between the Palms and Hammersticks. However, without a shadow of a doubt, this is still a Ballistic Bowl winning roster if Coach Fields ever figures out which shitty QB can perform that week. "I'm not worried about our QB situation, Eli is and will always be the starting QB unless he gets hurt." Anchored by their elite WR core and dependable RB unit, the Blitzing Zombies look to take the lead early and keep it from the Griffin's 3 headed RB monster and Tom Fucking Brady. When asked about Latavius Murray's status for week 6, Coach Griffin had this to say, "We hope to have him practicing by Wednesday. I understand he has a toe injury but this is football and everyone is playing injured this time of year." I foresee Murray's performance being the key to success for RJ griffins but in the end they lose to the red hot Zombies.
Blitzing Zombies 210 - RJ Griffins 206
VS
Nothing to talk about, another record breaking loss for the Hammersticks.
Swarts Hammersticks 160 - Pardue Bruisermakers 299
VS
Another pair of 3-2 squads trying to climb to the top of their division. Psycho Billiecats' ragtag squad will make this game very close, however, the Texas Stars' team is too talented to lose this week with a rejuvenated Drew Brees and Brandin Cooks double up system being too much for the banged up Billie Cats led by their streaky QB Cam Newton.
Wallies Texas Stars 190 - 140 Psycho Billiecats
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| By eSFL Commissioner on Wed Oct 5 1:40:48 p.m. ET 2016 | ||
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| By eSFL Commissioner on Wed Oct 5 6:08:48 a.m. ET 2016 | ||
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VS
The Swarts Hammersticks (0-4) were considered one of the leagues top teams following the draft, with Big Ben, Antonio, JJ Watt and others headlining their stable of studs. The team started 0-3, ownership panicked, traded away the core of it's unit (Ben and Brown), and now are trying to avoid an 0-5 start against a team that will utilize those same players in their effort to take them down. The Runners (3-1) are coming off one of the most exciting games of the season, pulled off a late comeback win over the Texan Bruisers, handing them their first defeat of the season. After last week embarrassing loss to the Pulverizers I expect the 'Sticks to rebound with Marvin Jones, Eddy Royal, and Kyle Rudolph to be enough to take down Ben, Brown, and Hyde.
SWARTS 156 RHODES 137
VS
The Rams (2-2) are in second place in the West Virginia division and only one game out despite a week four loss to the Psycho Billiecats last week. Looking over their roster I don't really see many players that I like very much, except for Luke Kuechly. This team is a perfect example of the old saying "fantasy football, yeah, it's a weekly crap shoot", and honestly, without hurting anyones feelings it is hard to say, THEY SUCK nicely. They have the least amount of points (642) fielded in the division and rank 6th of 9 in the conference in that category. Their offensive unit is horrible, fielding only 486 points, topping only Frost (426) and Swarts (460) in the entire league. On the other hand, the Crownholder are also sitting at 2-2, second in their division (Global) behind the Runners (3-1). Last week they pounded the afore mentioned pathetic Flurries, and won't need very much excitement to do the same this week to the Rams. Back to back weaklings is always a pleasant site when one looks at their schedule at this point in the season.
CROWNHOLDER 176 RAMS 145
VS
Both teams are coming off losses in week four but neither team should be alarmed. The 'Stars (2-2) are tied for second in the tough Global division and have an elite squad that just might be playing a very important game around Christmas day. With the likes of Brees, Elliott, Cooks, Evans, and Jordan Reed this team has only lacked in defensive abilities (101) where they rank a pathetic 6 of 9 in the conference. The Bruisers (3-1) are a powerhouse who took a dreadful loss last week to their rival, losing to them for the fifth straight time over the past three seasons. OBJ failed to perform and coach Chaz left a lot of points on his bench, both are anomalies with this wonderful coaching staff and players. Texan took their first loss last week, and they won't lose two in a row all season.
BRUISERS 197 STARS 186
VS
Voted the leagues nicest team logo four years running, the Frost Furrious Flurries (1-3) continue to step on their peckers week in and week out. They are the only team in the league with negative VICTORY POINTS (-2), rank last in almost every positive category, and look to be the worst team since Viall went 1-13 in 2011. No running backs, no wide receivers, no nothing. One has to wonder who they drafted because looking at their roster it appears to be a bunch of day 3 two-a-days. Meanwhile, the Pulverizers (3-1) are riding high after their first ever Hi 50 last week, sitting atop the West Virginia division, a division that appears to be the weakest in the league. It appears, barring major injuries, the Perdew unit should start planning their weekend of playoff fantasy football in week 13. I love you coach Frost, you have been a wonderful member of the league since 2005, and I would like nothing more than to see you win games, but this squad you have just isn't going to cut it.
PERDEW 174 FROST 89
VS
Manning Face (3-1) failed to show up for the draft, failed to pre rank his players in case he didn't show up, did not get a 1st or 2nd round draft pick, and sits tied for first with the Bruisers in the Appalachian division. With Aaron Rodgers, Dez Bryant, Larry Fitz, T. Pryor, D. Thomas, and others, one has to wonder how the hell these players are even on this unit. Congratulations to MF ownership for doing such a great job with their roster, and I believe this unit will battle all season for a playoff spot. The bad news is, they rank 6 of 9 in points fielded and 9 of 9 in defensive points. Their Power rank of 26 is six of nine, so they have work to do to get a playoff spot. The Zima (0-4) squad is, well, struggling. Last place in their division is not a place any owner wants going into week four of a season. They actually are not that bad, posting scores of 184, 152, 168, and 141 will usually get a team at least one win, maybe even two or three if your name is Manning Face. Zima's troubles are more than one category, but the main reason they are 0-4 is because their opponents have fielded 706 points against them, and only two other teams are close to that number in the conference (Rhodes 685 and Frost 709). If Zima can win this week, his season may just not be over because his roster is good (minus QB Winston who can score 5 on any given week). Murray at running back has been a beast thus far, and his wide receivers are good enough to get wins.
ZIMA 175 MF 156
Now that we are in week five everyone should have a feel for their team and a pretty good idea of whether they think they can make the playoffs. Any team who gets in the playoffs can win a world title with a couple of good weeks in a row.
I want to point out that side betting in the eSFL is highly encouraged. Therefore, if you do side bet, be sure to let everyone know how much you win or lose each week. I personably have already lost my Hi 50 earnings I obtained in week one! I will like announce a little side bet I have with coach Igama, that side bet is, "the team who finishes with the worst record has to get a Mike Tyson tattoo on their face".
Speaking of Mike Tyson, if you young bucks didn't watch it you need to, go on your Youtube and look up Mike Tyson greatest knockouts. Then watch the Buster Douglas fight from 1990. That was the greatest fight I ever saw, and what a huge upset. Poor Buster Douglas wasn't ever able to repeat the success, and I think he even went into a coma for like two years after he lost his title defense fight to some mutt. But give Buster his due, he got knocked down by the greatest hitter in the history of the sport, got up, came out and commenced to beat Mike Tysons ass.
Let this fight be a lesson, you always need to prepare and be prepared. Mike wasn't, thought his opponent could not beat him. Watch the fight, if you want, start from round 8.
And finally I would like to rant a little bit. Today's topic is Being a Coward! What happened to the times when being a coward was a dreadful consideration, a time when not only the person who was the coward received the brunt of the act, but his whole family would be known as cowards. When I was growing up, anyone who performed a cowardly act would get their ass beat, their brother would get his ass beat, their mom and dad would be out of a job, and basically the whole family would have to pack up and leave to another state. Hey, to me, being a coward is at the top of the list in things no one should ever want to be classified as. Are those times gone? What generation did it cease to exist? If you hit a girl, sucker punched someone, physically or psychology hurt any handicapped person, or in any way hurt a child, you were considered a coward and paid the price. These days, you have cowards all over the place. Anyone who takes a weapon (gun, chair, knife, whatever it might be) and uses it against anyone who does NOT have a weapon or a way to defend themselves, is a COWARD. These cowards walking into a public place and shooting people, people who have no weapons to shoot back, are pure cowards. Hey if you wanna be a tough guy or gal, walk in with your gun and empty a sack of guns on the floor. Invite everyone who wishes to grab one to go ahead, let everyone get ready, and then go off. It's called fighting fair mother fuckers. You ain't nothing but a piece of shit if you are the only person who is armed, and I didn't mention the fact that the coward didn't give a warning in case you were armed. Bombs are the same way, your a coward if you bomb or blow anything up without telling mother fuckers before hand, "I'm blowing this fucking building up so stay out of it". No these tough guys go get their guns and bombs, sneak around, trap innocent people and kids, and start shooting them. Your a real fucking coward and I think it's time they understand, even though they are going to be dead because of the act, there will be ramifications beyond them that will not be pleasant. If you wanna be a tough guy, do it the right way, walk in and start beating fuckers with your fist. You'll get your ass beat that is what will happen you fucking turd, but you know what, at least you won't be a coward.
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| By eSFL Commissioner on Sun Oct 2 7:02:54 a.m. ET 2016 |
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This game will be tight. Cam has been hotter than Wilson but the double up with Baldwin could be big. Receivers should be evenly matched. Advantage to Frost with the TE. The wild card in this game will be the return of Leveon Bell. Crown by single digits.
This game not so close. Perdew has a scary lineup at receiver with 3 of the receivers coming off monster games. He holds the edge at RB as well. Swarts needs a big day from his 2 big defensive players to even the playing field. Perdew by 25
Battle of the brothers. Zima has to have a win this week to avoid going 0 and 4. Neither have a strong rushing attack, so this game is all about the WR. With Landry canceled out who’s other 3 WR will show up. I’d look for Julio and Sanders to have a bigger outing than Hopkins and Hurns. Orange by double digits.
I think Stafford is primed for a big outing vs a bad Bears defense. Billiecats have the nice double up with Cam and Benjamin but half of it is canceled out with Benjamin on both rosters. Look to Gurley and Miller to make the difference in this game. Houston by 15
Texan has a real nice WR lineup and I would give him a strong edge in the run game. However after last weeks embarrassing loss from the Steelers I would look for the Roethlisberger Brown connection to have a huge outing this week. It will be a nail biter but slight edge to Texan. Texan by a couple. Sorry Terry
This one has runaway potential. Look for a real strong run game from Wallie and a dangerous connection from Brees/Cooks. Manning will need Demaryius Thomas and Larry Fitz to return to playing at a high level to stay in this one. Wallie by 20
This game could go either way. Receiving corps are well matched with a slight edge in the run game to Kav with Lesean McCoy looking strong again. Look to the tight ends to be the difference in this game. Kav by single digits.
RJ taking a big gamble this week starting the Bears QB RB and WR. Unproven qb wont be enough to stop Igama’s dominant receiving core. I do give the advantage in RB to RJ but have him falling just short in the end. Igama by 10
Real strong run game on both teams with an advantage in WR to Pardue. I’d look for Cooks and Cooper to have bigger days than Robinson and Crabtree. With neither team having the double up I will say the difference maker will be the QB position. Pardue by 15.
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| By Psycho Billiecats on Fri Sep 30 2:04:18 a.m. ET 2016 | ||
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Week 4 in the Nebula is sure to be an exciting weekend chock full of exciting games....except for whatever game the scrap-heap kavanators take part in. Unfortunately for the Blitzing Zombies, he will have to waste gas and make a trip to suit up against the kavanators.
An interesting meeting transgressed at midfield last week between the coach of the Hammersticks and the coach of the kavanators. "As I approached Ron at midfield to shake hands, he was bouncing up and down and chuckling to himself while he was pissing his pants. I stopped in my tracks about 20 yards in front of him and shouted: Hey Ron, even a blind squirrel finds an acorn every now and then...then quickly veered towards our locker room". Upon further explaination Swarts' coach was referring to the 200+ score the kavanators were able to put up last week. Digging deeper in the numbers, we are able to see that the kavanators scored a 200+ game only ONCE in last years entire season. When asked what he thought of this weeks game, Coach Bruce Fields began to laugh and commented "we're not worried about that garbage he puts out on the field every week, thats undrafted, practice squad material he's suiting up over there...". And I whole-heartedly agree.... Zombies 178-100.
A tough matchup between former division mates that is sure to be a barn burner. The difference in this matchup comes down to the QB position. Stafford will struggle this week for the first time this season, and the greatest QB in the league, Cam Newton, will avenge his fluke game from last week and put up gaudy numbers this week, spurring on the Billiecats to a solid victory. Billiecats 201-165.
Two decent units look to go at it in Hammerstick Field this sunday. With the home team getting little help this week from his offensive unit this week, I see the Pulverizers feeding off a strong performance from their WR unit this week. AJ Green is poised for a great game, and Julio Jones looks to follow suit. Perdew 184-153.
Orange Crush are coming off the luckiest game of their life, where the powerful Billiecats laid an egg and all but forfeited the victory to a mediocre performing Crush squad. This week, the luck runs out as the Ruskies will thrive on a big game from Winston, Hopkins, and Mack on defense. Ruskies 167-148.
A meeting between two mediocre squads will be decided by the Palms' WR unit. With a stellar showing from AJ Green, I see Brown matching that explosive output and just outpowering a weaker Griffins squad. With a mediocre RB squad and a poor QB and WR unit, the Griffins are just simply outmatched this week. Palms 184-155.
While Viall has been a perennial force in the eSFL, he has succombed to residing at the bottom for the 16-17 campaign. With an inconsistent, average RB squad coupled with an atrocious WR set, Viall has been reduced to being a shadow of his former self. While Coach V insists this is not a rebuilding year, his starting line-ups and weekly results scream otherwise. Pardue wins on the backs of RB's CJ Andersen and David Johnson. Bruisermakers 179- 147.
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| By eSFL Commissioner on Wed Sep 28 7:30:15 a.m. ET 2016 | ||
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| By eSFL Commissioner on Wed Sep 28 6:58:29 a.m. ET 2016 | ||
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Blitzing Zombies Week 4 2016
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| By Frost Furrious Flurries on Sun Sep 25 8:11:39 a.m. ET 2016 |
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Week 3 is huge (Donald Trump’s voice) for the ESFL this weekend. In this .500 league we should be able to separate some of the talent with some of the bottom feeders today. Good luck and have a great week.
Pulverizers vs Runners
This is going to be a great one, you have the feared combo of Big Ben and Brown vs a solid WR set from Perdew and Andrew Luck. Making the decision to start Blount vs that Texan defense was brilliant for the Pulverizers. The Runners need to have some defensive scoring and one of those other WRs to break out.
Pulverizers 198 Runners 192
Rams vs Ruskies
Which Jameis Winston shows up today might be the key for this matchup. The Rams are already in a hole with the Browns like performance from JJ Watt and the Houston Texans defense on Thursday night. Now being forced to start underachieving Todd Gurley and Theo Riddick points at RB are difficult to come by. Expect Jordy Nelson and Jarvis Landry to have good games. If Jameis plays decent it is an easy win for Zima.
Ruskies 172 Rams 158
Texas Stars vs Crownholder
The Seahawks and Saints are due to throw the ball around the field this week. There could be an offensive powerhouse between Brees and Cooks and Wilson and Baldwin. Expect David Johsnson to run all over those bros who can’t coach D in Buffalo but Williams should match him for the Crownholders. This is going to be a tight battle but inevitable I think Benjamin and Crabtree will have nice games.
Crownholder 171 Texas Stars 165
Face vs Flurries
What a joke of a game but one of these teams will be 2-1 after week 3. Who is going to blow up Cam or Aaron that will set the trend for this matchup? Injuries have devastated the Flurries to where they are starting a Cleveland Browns 3rd down back in hopes of receptions. Face have Frank Gore so it is not much better on that side of the ball. This game comes down to which Cardinal WR gets more tosses by Carson and a coin flip.
Frost 162 Face 161.98
GAME OF THE WEEK!!!!
Zombies vs Bruisers
The game of the week has Eli vs Eli…I never trust Eli but after his garbage performance last week he might have a decent game vs the Skins. Expect the Bruisers RBs to have a difficult time vs the competition today. The Zombies are hoping the Saints can pass the ball around and get Willie a score, which should happen today. They also are wondering if the true Dez Bryant be showing up vs the Bears today. Defense is going to be a must in decided this matchup. I think it will come down to which WRs have a bigger day. Odell might just blow up.
Bruisers 182 Zombies 170
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| By eSFL Commissioner on Thu Sep 22 2:33:37 p.m. ET 2016 |
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Week 3 Nebula Conference Insider
BG Fields
BONUS VINTAGE LOOK IN....
The Pulverizers are trying to overcome a bad coaching decision from week 2 and they now have their sights set on the Runners. The Pulverizers are led by their WR, Julio Jones and the team is expecting big things from him this week. Likewise, the Runners are led by the best WR in the league, Antonio Brown.
Both teams seem to be a wash at QB and neither team has anything exceptional at RB. Therefore, this game will come down to WR production and defense.
The staff tried to reach both coaches for comments, but both declined; however, the scuttlebutt is that in an effort to cope with his dumb coaching decision, Josh was found in a sugar coma after eating 6 boxes of Little Debbie snack cakes. Meanwhile, witnesses stated that TRhodes was suffering from sleep deprivation after spending two nights at the hospital at the bed side of Danny Woodhead.
181 to 165
Both of these teams have started the season 0-2. The good news is someone is going to get their first win. The bad news is that it will only be their first win. After losing a divisional matchup last week, the Kavanators decided to make changes to his QB position and pulled of a trade with the Zombies.
The Hammersticks were led in Week 2 by Diggs and Watt. The Big Ben and Antonio Brown show is tough for any team to match and I don’t expect the Nators to be able to match that offensive power.
169 to 162
Someone katy bar the door because the Billiecats have been tearing it up! The Billiecats enter this contest leading the conference and the league in points fielded with 417. Not so fast…the Crush enter this game with the highest coaching efficiency (that’s not hard to do when your bench sucks) of any team in the league. This is a pivotal divisional game that could set the tone for the rest of the season.
The Crush are led by Julio Jones and DeAngelo Williams. We expect more of the same this week.
On the other sideline, the Billiecats are expecting big numbers from the Newton/Benjamin connection. Unfortunately, that will not be enough….
by cunt hair…162 to 161
With back-to-back divisional games, the Brusiermakers are hoping to sweep the division and get another win this week. Some people believe that Pardue is still riding the “high” of his Hall of Fame entry and isn’t totally focused on coaching his team. “We were honored by being accepted into the Hall of Fame and I can assure you that everyone on this staff is laser focused on the task at hand”, said Ron.
On paper, the Bruisermakers seem to get the nod at every single position; however, this is the week where his opponent eclipses the 200 mark and beats the HOFer.
 …206-174
I would love to put a lot of thought and analysis into this game, but I need to focus my time and efforts on more important things. This game will not be close…
166-101 
Whoa, Nelly!! This will be an action packed game and there will not be an empty seat in the stadium. Both teams enter this contest evenly matched.
The Bruisers are sitting 2-0 in their division and they are hoping to keep their winning streak alive. This team is solid at every position. “We know that this is a marathon”, said Chaz. “We can’t rest on our laurels and expect to win week in and week out in this league. We are facing a tough opponent this week and our team will be ready to go.”
The Zombies earned their first win last week and they are looking to continue the momentum. The Zombies partnered with the Kavanators and executed a trade. “We were looking to add depth at WR and RB”, said Fields. “As an organization, we believe this trade accomplished that goal and puts us in a better position.”
This game could come down to a start/sit strategy as both teams have some of the same players.
In the end, the Zombies will put out the victory.
194-173 |
| By eSFL Commissioner on Wed Sep 21 6:42:57 p.m. ET 2016 | ||
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| By eSFL Commissioner on Tue Sep 20 11:57:16 a.m. ET 2016 | ||
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Week 3 Nebula Conference Insider
BG Fields
BONUS VINTAGE LOOK IN....
The Pulverizers are trying to overcome a bad coaching decision from week 2 and they now have their sights set on the Runners. The Pulverizers are led by their WR, Julio Jones and the team is expecting big things from him this week. Likewise, the Runners are led by the best WR in the league, Antonio Brown.
Both teams seem to be a wash at QB and neither team has anything exceptional at RB. Therefore, this game will come down to WR production and defense.
The staff tried to reach both coaches for comments, but both declined; however, the scuttlebutt is that in an effort to cope with his dumb coaching decision, Josh was found in a sugar coma after eating 6 boxes of Little Debbie snack cakes. Meanwhile, witnesses stated that TRhodes was suffering from sleep deprivation after spending two nights at the hospital at the bed side of Danny Woodhead.
181 to 165
Both of these teams have started the season 0-2. The good news is someone is going to get their first win. The bad news is that it will only be their first win. After losing a divisional matchup last week, the Kavanators decided to make changes to his QB position and pulled of a trade with the Zombies.
The Hammersticks were led in Week 2 by Diggs and Watt. The Big Ben and Antonio Brown show is tough for any team to match and I don’t expect the Nators to be able to match that offensive power.
169 to 162
Someone katy bar the door because the Billiecats have been tearing it up! The Billiecats enter this contest leading the conference and the league in points fielded with 417. Not so fast…the Crush enter this game with the highest coaching efficiency (that’s not hard to do when your bench sucks) of any team in the league. This is a pivotal divisional game that could set the tone for the rest of the season.
The Crush are led by Julio Jones and DeAngelo Williams. We expect more of the same this week.
On the other sideline, the Billiecats are expecting big numbers from the Newton/Benjamin connection. Unfortunately, that will not be enough….
by cunt hair…162 to 161
With back-to-back divisional games, the Brusiermakers are hoping to sweep the division and get another win this week. Some people believe that Pardue is still riding the “high” of his Hall of Fame entry and isn’t totally focused on coaching his team. “We were honored by being accepted into the Hall of Fame and I can assure you that everyone on this staff is laser focused on the task at hand”, said Ron.
On paper, the Bruisermakers seem to get the nod at every single position; however, this is the week where his opponent eclipses the 200 mark and beats the HOFer.
…206-174
I would love to put a lot of thought and analysis into this game, but I need to focus my time and efforts on more important things. This game will not be close…
166-101
Whoa, Nelly!! This will be an action packed game and there will not be an empty seat in the stadium. Both teams enter this contest evenly matched.
The Bruisers are sitting 2-0 in their division and they are hoping to keep their winning streak alive. This team is solid at every position. “We know that this is a marathon”, said Chaz. “We can’t rest on our laurels and expect to win week in and week out in this league. We are facing a tough opponent this week and our team will be ready to go.”
The Zombies earned their first win last week and they are looking to continue the momentum. The Zombies partnered with the Kavanators and executed a trade. “We were looking to add depth at WR and RB”, said Fields. “As an organization, we believe this trade accomplished that goal and puts us in a better position.”
This game could come down to a start/sit strategy as both teams have some of the same players.
In the end, the Zombies will put out the victory.
194-173 |
| By eSFL Commissioner on Wed Sep 14 8:49:20 p.m. ET 2016 | ||
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Week 2 insider
By Jeff Frost
ROAD TO BALLISTIC BOWL 17
1st match up is between Perdew Pulverizers and the Houston Rams.
The Houston Rams having Tavon Austin and Todd Gurley looks to have a steep hill to climb considering the LA Rams have no quarterback. Andrew Luck, shaddy McCoy, along with AJ Green will be too much for the Rams this week. Close one.
200-195
2nd matchup I want to look at is the Zima Ruskies vs D Crownholder.
The Ruskies having famous Jameis should put up some very good fantasy numbers this year for Tampa with his 2 good receivers and I like Demarrco Murray behind a good o-line at Tennessee with Hopkins and Nelson looks to be a tuff out, D crownholder Spencer Ware and Deangelo Williams are the 2 best backups in the NFL.
195-1803rd matchup is between the Sweaty Palms vs Frost Flurries.
Palms has his choice between three top notch quarterbacks and Danny Woodhead along with Allen Hurns and Mike Evans will be too much for a weak Flurries team.
210-1504th matchup is between Texan Bruisers vs Manning Face.
The Texan Bruisers look to be the favorite or atleast one of the favorites this year in our league with a very solid team. Eli Manning and Beckham is a fantasy nightmare if there not playing for you and the Bruisers have a hard choice with very good wide receivers to choose from. Manning Face has a very solid team being led by Aaron Rodgers but he has a lot of players questionable for this weekend so good luck on making the right picks.
190-175.
Game of the Week between Rhodes Runners vs. Wallies Texas Stars.
Both these teams just finished 1st and 2nd last week in points fielded with the Rhodes Runners winning the weekly Hi 50. This should be a high scoring affair, Wallies with Bree's, Johnston, and Cooks are a good big three and the Runners with Big Ben, Woodhead, and Antonio Brown. It's gonna be a coin toss but I'm not picking against my team....
205-204Good luck to everyone this weekend, hope we can all stay injury free.
Commissioners notes:
If you have not noticed, the top 10 scoring players last week was a nice mix of positions. Last year quarterbacks would hold 7 or 8 of those spots. That is why we eliminated pass completions as a scoring category for quarterbacks. We may in the future find another way, but I feel this is better as it is now.
Last year in week 1 there was two teams who eclipsed the 200 mark, this year there were five (even though we lowered QB points)
Week three in 2015 had an unreal EIGHT teams eclipse 200!
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| By eSFL Commissioner on Tue Sep 13 6:41:37 p.m. ET 2016 | ||
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WEEK 2 NEBULA INSIDER: Ron Kav
After a crazy week one and several surprise victories in the Nebula, shits about to get real in the divisions. With 11 games remaining in the regular season and on average of 7 wins (more like 8) to get into the playoffs, a single loss is devastating in eSFL. Lets get into these Week 2 Nebula matchups and see whats going on. 
Blitzing Zombies VS Vial Vigalnte
Zombies took a tuff blow in week one, but look to redeem their quality of play here in week 2 and save their name in the eSFL. After many winning seasons the Zombies are now considered mutts in the league and need to erase the scrutiny. Aaron Rodgers might just be able to lead the resurgence desperately needed by the orginazation. Look for Rodgers to drop a 45 bomb on Vial and Elliot to show his eSFL value and follow with a 25 of his own this week . The wide reciver core should be solid, combining for 50 while Greg Olsen is a stout 15. As for Vial, the woes continue. Dropping a barn burner in week 1 doesn't make things look much better this week. Russell Wilson is banged up and if he plays we are looking at single digit numbers here, 9 or less. The running back combo that looked good prior to week 1 is no longer threatening and we predict a 35pt comb here, one that Elliot erases almost on his own. Cobb, Tate and Robinson are a solid court of WR 2 guys and will post numbers of just that, look for the wr core to post 35. Kelce will continue to add value and will dunk 14 on the zombies. In the end its not enough, vial moves to 0-2
Zombies 155 Vial 136
Kavanators vs Bruisermakers
The man, the myth, and the legend will show his dominance this season in eSFL. A tuff week one loss for Pardue will do nothing but piss him off moving forward and the next victim will be the ass of the kavanators. Carson Plamer will serve as a top 5 QB this year and his production is slated to pick up this week. Look for Palmer to hang 33 on the nators. David Johnson and AP will also shine as well as combine for 45 while his wr core is second to none and will all blow up on the nators, posting 89 points for Pardue. Jared cook is the only week link here and is irrelevant to this competition as he will post a whooping 9 pt game. The nators couldn’t break a measly 150pts in week 1 and why would anything change here especially against a team that the franchise has never successfully beaten. Eli manning will lead this squad in scoring with 55pts. Mccoy, Murray and Ingram will salvage 15 a piece to match the 45 of Johnson and AP, however the WR core is no match for Pardue. Dez, ODB and TY will scrape togeather a combined 33pts. Kavanators fall to 0-2 and Pardue resurrects to 1-1.
Pardue 200 Kav 149
Swarts Hammer sticks Vs Psyco Billiecats
Week 1 was normal for the pussy cats. Start off with a big win then sink the ship. I see no reason why anything changes here. We feel here in the analyst room that the cats got a onetime massive production from their squad week 1. Cam Newton will continue to lead the team and post a 22pt game for the cats. Martin and forte will drop a measly 15 combined for the cats. The WR core will be lucky to break 30 points combined as they are a bunch of backups in this league. Jordan Reed will be the team’s top performer hoisting 26pt game. The sun Shines on a dogs ass every now and then, but not twice in a row. The cats will go down this week to swarts and his solid core. Big ben will out dual Cam this week giving the hammer sticks 27. Abdullah and Miller will drop a combined 19 and the work gets done with the stout WR core. In brown, Decker, Jackson and Diggs combining for 75. Barnadge will get back to normal as RG3 is dunzo, mccown will help him get to the 20pt mark in week 2. Swarts gets his first eSFL win in week 2!
Swarts 171 Billiecats 121
Orange Crush vs RJ Griffins
This is everything of the Nebula game of the week. 2 big squads facing off and it will be a high scoring battle. Drew Breese will be top 5 this week hauling in 44 for the crush. Lacey, Langford and Williams will be one of the biggest RB combos for the next 2 weeks and Crush will take advantage of the Bell suspension accumulating 60pts from the combo. Julio jones, Landry and E. Sanders are too much for the Griffins as they post 50 combined. Zach miller is the weak link giving a measly 7pts to the Crush. For the Griffins a QB change must be made and it looks as it will. T-mobile to the pine and Jimmy Gurappalo will handle the realm giving a fair game to the griffins and claiming 22 points. Spencer ware and Carlos hyde are suspect, but I feel they can snatch up 35 points. Green, Jefferies, Nelson and a banged up Sammy Watkins is a tough combo but wont shoot past the 3 wrs of the crush only posting 48pts combined. Julius Thomas looks good, but will it continue? We give Thomas 12 this week. All said and done the Crush move to 2-0
Orane Crush 199 RJ Griffin 177
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