Whitmore Remains Undefeated

The Whitmore White Workehorse remained undefeated with their week 5 win over the Kavanators 200.86 to 130.88. They were led once again by quarterback Peyton Manning's 37.5 points and tight end Kellen Winslow added 31.2 points as the Kavanators had no answer for the onslaught. Workehorse head coach and owner Kunta said after Sunday's games, "Kav it's not a big deal I only beat you by 52, oh wait never mind, I still have Ronnie Brown playing! Can you say ASS WOOPIN!". Brown added 28.1 to rub some salt in the wounds of the Kavanator team. Whitmore will begin the seasons non-division schedule against the 3-2 D Crownholders in week 6.

Coach Rhodes Still Fan Favorite

Billboard supporting Coach Rhodes in Boot Hill

Despite his team's rough start, Balut coach Terry Rhodes remains extremely popular in Boot Hill and no sports talk radio host has dared discussing the topic of a coaching change. With the team starting the season 0-4 most discussions heard over the airwaves in Boot Hill are about the injuries the team has sustained. Things were looking as they were about to get better with the return of quarterback Donovan McNabb, then the team lost two starting running backs in the same week. Correll Buckhalter and Darren McFadden went down during last weeks games and are most likely out for at least four weeks each. In addition, the team traded for quarterback Byron Leftwich as a one game fill in for the injured McNabb, and he was injured in his first appearance for the team and posted a negative game score. He has since been given his unconditional release. The community is behind Rhodes and his coaching staff, for the most part. "What can a guy do? The team loses its starting quarterback, both runningbacks, and has two individual 50 point games posted on them? I mean, the coach can't be at blame for that." Stated local talk show host and Balut play by play man Dennis McGee. The talk in the Hill is that the etam needs a miracle to happen in the next two weeks, because if this team starts out at 0-6 the season will all but be over. "We like our chances of winning games and making the playoffs, but we have to win a few here with our big horses out and hang in until we get them back, someone has to step up", coach Rhodes said on his weekly morning show.
If this team loses this week they become a good canidate for a Gunner Bowl title.

Week 5 Preview

Written by Whit

First up Frost vs. Balut

Normally I would say Balut doesn`t have a chance but with the Saints bye week I think the Boot Hill Balut break into the win column this week. McNabb and Johnson lead Balut to victory. Final Score Balut 141 Frost 132

Texas Boys vs Ruskies

This one will come down to wide receivers and as you can see Ruskies has a rag tag B team at best. The Texas Boys win big with top notch numbers from Fitzgerald, Cotchery, and Mason. Even if Jared Allen puts up 50 again it won`t matter. Final score Texas 165 Ruskies 113

Pardue vs Crownholder

It`s all about knowing your players and who knows his players better than Pardue. He has an amazing 87.1 YTD coaching efficiency. He knows who and when to get the most from his players. But is anyone has a team that can take him down it`s Crownholder, he`s led by Tom Brady who is due for a big week, he`ll score 39 this week. This one will come down to defense and Demarcus Ware is the difference maker. Crownholders win a nail biter. Final score Crownholder 168 Pardue 165

Bruisers vs Pulverizers

Don`t let the Pulverizers record fool you he has more total points than anyone in the Appalachian Division. Pulverizers Jones-Drew and Wes Welker run away with this game. It`s a blowout early. Final score Pulverizers 159 Bruisers 119.

Workhorse vs Kavanators

The workhorses are led by none other than Peyton Manning. The Kavanators by the under performing Kurt Warner. Advantage Workhorse. In the running back department Ronnie Brown and Brandon Jacobs vs Brian Westbrook and Tim Hightower, again advantage Workhorse. Then to the wide receivers well you get the point, the Kavanators are out classed in everything. Kavanators lose a close one and the Workhose stay undefeated. Final score Workhorse 162 Kavanators 157.

Big D vs Fanatix

The one good move by Big D is he has a monopoly on all the rushing yards for the Ravens. My only question is why, why start two running backs from the same team. The Fanatix Joe Flacco and Randy Moss dominate in a rout. Final score Fanatix 143 Big D 92.

Week 4 Recaps-2009

Ruskies 138.12      Balut 135.36

The Zima Ruskies move to 2-2 with a come from behind win over the defending league champion Balut. Jared Allen, Champ Bailey, and James Harrison combined for 104 points with Allen posting his first career 50 point game. The Ruskies defense accounted for 75.29 percent of the teams total weekly points with Allen's 36 percent and late Monday game sack being the difference. Three players have scored 50 points or more in a week this season and two of them were against the Balut. The 2009 Ballistic Bowl champs lost two more starters to injury with RB Darren McFadden and C. Buckhalter both listed as out two to four weeks. The team now has lost QB Mcnabb (4 weeks), QB Leftwich (2-4 weeks), RB Gore (4 weeks), McFadden (4 weeks), and Buckhalter (? weeks) to begin the season.

Click to view box score

 Flurries 136.1    Crownholders 101.52

The Frost Furrious Flurries moved to a 2-2 record with strong performances from their entire team. They were led by running back Joseph Addai with 24.8 and Bernard Berrian with 19.5 points respectively. The Crownholders were led by quarterback Tom Brady's 25.62 but only one other starter posted double digit points for the second straight week.  Clinton Portis didn't score a touchdown, but was only two yards shy of reaching 100 on the ground, he needed a good effort before ownership gives up on him. One-week wonder or a sign of things to come? Let's wait and see.

 

 Click to view box score

Temp 175.4      MFIC 164.12

The Pardue Bruisermakers once again posted a wonderful week, but this time came up short as the Texas Boys sent them to their first defeat of the season. The Temp team were led by Patrick Willis' 41 and quarterback Carson Palmer's 26.1 as the team moved into first place in the Global division. Pardue was led by quarterback David Garrard's 39.92 points an wideout Steve Smith of the Giants added 36.4 in the loss.

 Click to view box score

Whitmore 145.52    Texan 113.36

The Workhorse are the only remaing undefeated team in the league as they beat the punch-less expansion Bruisers.   They were led by Peyton Manning and Ronnie Brown' 31.42 and 27.5 respectfully. The Texan team continued to struggle as only three players achieved double digit scoring and the team moves to a 1-3 record. They were led by running back Pierre Thomas' 26.1.

 Click to view box score

Kavanators 167.16   Big D 143.76

Both teams move to 2-2 as the Kavanators get strong performances across the board. They were led by QB River's  31.06 and defensive back Winfields 20. The Big D club performed admirably with three players scoring in excess of 20 points each, led by quarterback Aaron rodgers' 26.36.

  Click to view box score

Perdew 190.34  Fields 145.86

The Perdew Pulverizers win their first game of the season against the hated rival Fields Fanatix. The Pulverizers led the league with the highest weekly total due to the wonderful play of Jay Cutler, Darren Sharper, and Calvin Johnson. The Fanatix were led by QB Flacco but fell short in the battle of buds. The Fanatix move to 2-2 on the season. "With a pathetic setup it's all luck wether you win or lose in this league, we should be in first place", stated owner Josh Perdew afterwards.

 Click to view box score

Week 4 Preview

Boot Hill Balut Vs Zima Ruskies

If not for D Crownholder practically giving the Ruskies their first win last week (only starting 10 players that actually played) this would be a battle of 0-3 teams. These two teams are practically battling for last in every statistical category. With the defending champs still looking for their first win this year and after putting up only 79 points last week it’s impossible to think that Coach Rhodes will not have his team fired up. The team is struggling to find healthy players as they will be without stud running back Frank Gore who is expected to miss the next three weeks. Also newly acquired Derek Andersen will get his first start of the season. I think the Ruskies D will be up to the challenge, however rookie QB Mark Sanchez and TE Jason Witten will not produce enough offense to carry this team.
Prediction: Balut 126.3 - Ruskies 97.52

D Crownholder Vs Frost’s Furrious Flurries

It looks as though D Crownholder will field a team at full strength this week. The team is looking strong to, after a disappointing week last week both Tom Brady and Chris Johnson are expected to explode. Their production alone may be enough to get the win. The Flurries still reeling this week after the tough loss to the Bruisermakers, have been holding closed practices all week and have declined all interviews. It looks as though there may be some questions as to who will be starting this week, since no line- up has been posted yet. We’ll have to assume Coach Frost will have his team ready to go as they will try to avoid going 1-3.
Prediction: D Crownholder 142.36 - Flurries 135.5

Pardue Bruisermakers Vs Temp’s Texas Boys

Corner back Cedric Griffin posted on his twitter page today “let’s see how those punk Bruisermakers do against a real D, I’ll cover all three of their WR’s, Torry who??” Coach Pardue’s only response was “what’s the most points ever scored in an eSFL Game?? We’ll answer that this weekend.” This should be a battle as the ex Bruisermaker Griffin seeks revenge after being cut two weeks ago.
Prediction: Brusiermakers 192 – Texas Boys 143.71


Whitmore Workhorse Vs Texas Bruisers

On paper this looks like an even matchup. Whitmore Workhorse has opened the season with 3 straight victories however the Texas Bruisers haven’t been so fortunate only finding the win column once. “the eSFL is a lot more difficult than Division 3A High School that I coached last year, I think we are starting to gel as a team, there are so many great coaches in this league” said a concerned coach Templin. The Bruisers have had an excellent week of practice this week and are expected to roll out a new game plan to pull the upset of the week
Prediction: Workhorse 160.44 – Bruisers 170.35

Kav’s Kavanators Vs Big ‘D’

After a heartbreaking loss last week the Kavanators have been fired up all week to get back on the field. Unfortunately they would be better off if they had a bye this week. Big ‘D’, led by Aaron Rodgers, Matt Forte and Ray Rice will dominate this matchup. This may be the blowout of the week.
Prediction: Kavanators 101.01 – Big ‘D” 165

Perdew Pulverizers Vs Fields Fantix

You really have to feel for the Perdew  team as they have scored the second most points in their division but are all alone in last place. Rumor has it that Coach Perdew is trying a new strategy, getting all of his loses out of the way early so he can win out and take the championship this year. That’s a good strategy? But starting 0-4 will be difficult to overcome. They will put up some points this week with first time starter Glenn Coffee leading the way, I’m predicting 130 and 3 tds for Coffee. If that’s not enough, a dose of Jones-Drew, Calvin Johnson and Brandon Marshal will definitely send the Fantix home crying. This game will be over by halftime.
Prediction: Pulverizers 182.3 – Fantix 135.2